Responses - Advocacy / Dating / Instruction & Teaching Abstinence

45-Minute Abstinence Lesson

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Sometimes, you just don't get much time to talk to teens about abstinence, so even if you only get 20 minutes, you can press the time full and talk fast!

Have a short presentation prepared and practiced (you can use this presentation as your base). You never know when you may unexpectedly get an opportunity to speak to teens, and you want to be prepared so that you — and your message — make a good impression!

As always, the most important thing you need to get across is to let them know YOU SINCERELY CARE ABOUT THEM as unique individuals — their health, their lives!! Stress this throughout your presentation. Two other quick points: 1) walk among them — let them know you are not afraid of them; 2) pull them into the conversation — ask them questions to keep them involved.

[Start your talk by stressing…] I know that all of you are intelligent and can make intelligent decisions, but only if you have all the information! Right? Nobody can make good decisions if they don't have all the facts! So, that's why I'm here: I want to make sure that you have all the up-to-date medical information you need to make intelligent and mature decisions.

[If they get rowdy during the talk, act surprised and remind them that you know they are smart and that you are discussing adult issues because you thought they wanted to discuss adult issues, and that you thought they wanted to know all the facts so they can make the best & most mature decisions in life. Question them; that should quiet them down…]

I've been doing lots of research on the medical realities of STDs, or STIs. By the way, what does "STD" mean? [students respond "sexually transmitted disease"] That's right! You may also hear them called "STIs". What does that mean? [you may have to tell them — a more politically correct term] OK, does Sexually Transmitted "Infection" sound as bad as Sexually Transmitted Disease? [wait for response; but don't wait too long] Not really; but does the name change actually change the effect of the bacteria or virus? [wait] No!

Let's start by naming some STDs [let them raise their hands or just call out names — some will undoubtedly say crude terms — just continue]. Does anyone know which 2 STDs have been around for hundreds of years? [wait for responses — syphilis and gonorrhea] That's right! We only had 2 STDs for hundreds of years. In the past 30-40 years, do you know how many more STDs we've gained? [wait] 48!! We now have 50 STDs! So, we had 2 STDs for hundreds of years, and in the last 30-40 years we've added 48 more! What does that tell you? [wait] Right! It doesn't sound like a great future…

Let's talk about some of these STDs. [see sample transparencies below] STDs can be either bacterial or viral. Let's look at a bacterial STD — Chlamydia. Chlamydia was unknown about 30 years ago. Today it's No. 1 on the charts!! It mainly affects teens aged 15-19. Since it's bacterial it can be treated; however, about 20% of the people who go in for treatment still leave with the disease — it doesn't respond to the treatment — but while these people think they are cured, the chlamydia continues to do damage to their bodies. Chlamydia causes sterility in women. What does that mean? [wait] Right – it damages the reproductive systems of women so that when they later marry and want to have children, they cannot. It also causes tubal pregnancies. What does that mean? [wait] OK, we're going to have a quick anatomy lesson. In women, the ovaries are about the size of almonds and are located here [use yourself as the model — don't be embarrassed or you've lost them.] Right near each ovary is a tube — what's it called? [wait] Right, the Fallopian Tube. Each Fallopian tube attaches to the uterus, located here, about the size of my fist. Now, normally, if an egg is released and if it's fertilized by a sperm, it's fertilized in the Fallopian tube. It is called a zygote and it begins to divide 10 hours later. It moves down the Fallopian tube and divides & divides for 7-10 days until it reaches the uterus. By then, it's about 100 cells big and is called the blastocyst. Each of us began this way. It will attach in the uterus and begin to grow, and 9 months later, this child will be born.

However, chlamydia causes infection in the Fallopian tubes and lots of stringy yucky stuff clogs up the tubes. So, what happens to the little developing embryo as it tries to move down the Tube? [wait] Right! it gets stuck. And it keeps growing. So what's going to happen? [wait] Right! the Tube is going to burst, and if the doctor doesn't realize what's happening, the little human embryo AND mom are going to die. Mom will hemorrhage to death. Tubal pregnancies are on the rise because of infections caused by STDs and by abortions. About 3-4 million cases of Chlamydia occur per year. Now, you may think "oh, that's just the low life — that just happens in CA or NY". But lets break that down. If we take 3 1/2 million and divide by 50 states, that's 70,000 cases per state. Our state has 64 counties; so that's more than 1000 per county. We have less than 50,000 people in this county, so that's more than 1 in 50 people who are infected. Chlamydia is very contagious — an uninfected person has about a 1 in 2 chance of getting the disease from an infected person — that's a 50% chance of infection with every sexual encounter… Bottom Line: Condoms provide little protection against chlamydia. [you may want to tell them about studies done on college campuses with groups using condoms and not using condoms — same rates of transmission of chlamydia.]

Among sexually active teens, 10-30% are infected. OK, math majors, if we take the average — 20% — what is the fraction for that? [wait] Right! 1/5. So, just to get an idea how many people that would be in a group this size, I'm going to count off, and every 5th person please stand up. Now, we're not saying anybody has this disease — this just gives us an idea of numbers in a group this size. [begin counting, walking among the teens. encourage every 5th one to stand] OK! So this allows us to see, out of a group this size, how many COULD have chlamydia. [to the standers] Thank you! You can sit down now. Remember this, because another STD we will discuss — also infects about 20% of the U.S. population.

Oh, by the way, is anybody hungry? [Go to Teaching Demos, Demo #2, for the complete explanation of the Chocolate Chip Cookie. This is very powerful and can be used to make several important points. While the cookie is being passed around, continue by talking about two more STDs.]

OK, Let's look at Herpes Simplex II. Herpes is a viral STD. What does that mean? [wait} there are no cures for viruses — generally when a person gets a viral STD, they will have it forever. Herpes shows itself as painful blisters; one teenage girl explained the pain as pouring lemon juice into a cut — not much fun, huh?

Has anyone ever had fever blisters? They hurt, don't they? Well, fever blisters are Herpes Simplex I — this is NOT an STD!! Also, chicken pox is a herpes virus, so is shingles — but these are NOT STDs!! Do you understand? Only Herpes Simplex II, also called HSV, is an STD. Now, it USED to be that doctors identified fever blisters above the waist and Herpes Simplex II, the STD, below the waist. But because of certain sexual practices now [stress this], people are getting the STD Herpes in their throats, [point to the throat and pause, looking around so that they get the point] and cases have been recorded of herpes in the eye. Now, you may have heard people say that certain sexual behaviors in certain places will not cause STDs. But we want you to know that those people don't know what they are talking about…[stress this] It's also important to understand that even if these blisters are NOT present, the disease can still be transmitted from an infected person to an uninfected person. Herpes increases the risk of HIV transmission. HIV is the STD that causes AIDS. Herpes provides an easy way for the HIV virus to get into the body. HIV is a wimpy virus; the chance of a healthy person contracting HIV (AIDS) is only about 1 in 500 sexual encounters. But, when another STD like Herpes, Chlamydia, HPV, or gonorrhea is present, HIV infection is dramatically increased!

OK, at least 20% — 1 in 5 (remember?)– of the US population over the age of 11 has been infected with HSV — did you hear that? [repeat] That's at least 45 million American people! And I'm not meaning to upset anyone; but, statistics show that 45% of these 45 million people are Blacks [Afro-Americans]. Bottom Line: Condoms provide little protection against Herpes because Herpes can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact, not just by fluids…

Remember, IF YOU'RE NOT HAVING SEX (beyond a simple good night kiss),YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY!!

Let's quickly talk about HPV — Human Papilloma Virus. Remember: HIV, HSV, HPV — these are medical nicknames for different viral STDs. Viruses have no cure. They've talked about a cure on TV; but that's only for 1 or 2 strains of HPV — there are over 100 strains known!! HPV causes genital warts. Has anyone ever had a wart on your hand or foot? Now these warts are NOT STDs! But did the wart bother you? Did you poke at it? [some boys say they ripped off their warts] [pretend you have a wart on your hand, look at it intensely] So, you were bothered by the wart…[poke at your pretend wart. Then look intently at your audience] Imagine having hundreds of warts in your genital area! [this generally invokes lots of noise from the teens!] OK!! Now we live in America — land of the free! We get to make lots of choices don't we? Well, when people get genital warts, they can go to the doctor and in humiliation, admit that they have warts. That's pretty embarrassing for most people. But the doctor will say, "Hey, you have a choice! You can have them burned off, frozen off, scraped off, or surgically cut off!" So, the person gets to choose how the warts are removed! But guess what? [usually, someone says "they come back"] That's right! Within a few months, they usually come back. So the person gets to go back to the doctor and choose a new method of removal this time! Imagine all the scarring from removal after removal. Isn't is great to have so many choices??…[pause]

Of course, warts are not the biggest problem with HPV — it is present in at least 95% of all cases of cervical cancer in women. Remember the cervix is at the base of the uterus. About 4500 US women die each year from cervical cancer. Thousands more have to have hysterectomies to stay alive. One or 2 strains cause invasive cancer within 1 year of infection — so there are 15, 16, 17 year-old girls having total hysterectomies — that means all their reproductive organs removed — just to keep them alive, and then they always worry about getting cancer again… Now, guys, don't feel left out! HPV causes cancer in males, too!! {say it slowly for impact] Penile cancer. [the boys really get upset about this] But, since guys have outdoor plumbing, it's easier for boys/men to see there is a problem. Girls have indoor plumbing, and so they are in much more danger because they cannot see the developing cancer. Is this the kind of gift you want to give to another person?…[pause]

At least 10% of the US population has been infected with HPV. HPV is highly contagious: uninfected people have a 1 in 2 chance — 50% — of getting HPV with every sexual encounter. It is very common among teens. Rutgers University had a big "safe sex" publicity campaign for years. You know how effective it's been? 60% of the coeds [the girls attending the school] have HPV. So, how "safe" do you think condoms are?

Bottom Line: Condoms provide NO PROTECTION against HPV. The CDC and all major government health agencies now admit this fact. HPV is passed by skin-to-skin contact — the virus is in the skin cells of the genital area, not in fluids which is all that condoms stop…

I promise you, I am not standing here to try to scare you. But I know you want to be treated as adults, and this is adult information. I believe you can make good decisions when you have all the facts. I believe you can handle these facts and make smart decisions for your future, and for the future of your spouse. I have a friend who is strikingly gorgeous! She told me once that she slept around in college and got Herpes. Since she married, she worries all the time about infecting her husband. Do you want to start your marriage with the person you love, by giving them a disease, or worrying that you will??..

OK! Where's that cookie? [the last person to touch it may have already given it back to you]. So, is any one still hungry? [of course, every hand goes up! Try to spot the first hand, or the most macho guy. Get another bagged cookie and walk directly to this person.] OK! I'm going to give you this cookie [the passed-around cookie], and I'll eat this one! [the bagged cookie] [Of course, the teen says he/she wants the bagged cookie — proceed around the room showing both cookies, eliciting the info that the passed-around cookie has germs] Where are the germs? Can you see the germs? [continue around to several teens — they all get worked up; back up to the front] You don't want the cookie that's been passed around because you know it has germs even though you cannot see the germs. You trust a little thin plastic bag — like a thin condom — to protect the other cookie from germs; but how do you know that someone didn't cough or sneeze on it before they put it in the bag? How do you know that the first cookie I gave out was not passed around during the last class? [they may say they trust you!– the one who received the first cookie may get upset — assure him/her that the cookie was not previously used!] [Now, quiet them down and talk slowly] You can't tell by looki

ng that the cookie has germs, and you can't tell by looking at a person that they have an STD! [this is very powerful — their eyes usually get very wide and it gets very quiet – this really hits home]

OK, guys, you don't have to say anything, but I want you to answer this in your mind: when the time comes and you're ready to settle down and marry the girl of your dreams, are you going to want the one who has been "passed around" or the one who has kept herself pure for you? [pause]

Now, most of you probably want to marry a pure girl, one who has waited for you! So, let me ask you another question: you all know who the studs and stud-wanna-bes are. If they are "using up" all the girls, not only do they not care about the girls; they don't care about you either, because they are ruining the pure girls! Think about it…

And when 2 people have sex, they're having sex with every one they've ever had sex with before! They bring all the diseases, all the memories, all the comparisons, all the hurts, and all the heartbreak from every other sexual relationship. What about comparisons? Guys, on your wedding night, how would you feel if this woman you love was actually comparing you in her mind to all the other guys she ever had sex with? How would that make you feel? What about you, girls? Do you want the man you marry to be picturing all the other girls he's ever had sex with, while he's supposed to be making love to you?

[Time is running out!] Now, you may be sitting here thinking to yourself. "Well, so where does this leave me?" [Call up an athletic looking guy; ask his name and what sport he plays] Jimmy has had an outstanding year and has won a tremendous award for __. They are giving him a big banquet, so he's going to pick up his date. He gets in his car (put a toddler's car in his lap] he starts the car and begins to drive [he will probably try to hold the steering wheel with one hand, because it's so small, but fuss at him…] Both hands please!! [audience laughs] OK, Jimmy thinks he knows her street. He turns down this road. It doesn't look or feel right; but he keeps going. The road gets narrower and darker, no houses, so signs, but he keeps going. Finally, he sees a sign [pull out a yellow poster board, drawn like a dead end sign] that says "DEAD END 5 MILES AHEAD". Now, Jimmy, are you going to keep going the next 5 miles, or stop and turn around? [Usually, the boy looks at you like you are stupid for even saying this, and he will say he's going to stop and turn around; some boys say they'll go the next 5 miles and then turn around] OK, so if you are going to get your award, you have to stop and turn around! Great! Thanks for your help! [turn to the group] So, Jimmy turns around, finds his date, and they get to the banquet. They may be a little late, but they get dessert and Jimmy gets his award!! And if you know people who are sexually active and uncomfortable in this relationship, tell them to stop and turn around! It may be difficult, but the rewards are great! No more worries about getting pregnant, or AIDS, or some other STD! No more emotional stress and strain! Stop and turn around! Please read these brochures and thanks so much for your attention to this adult issue!…

Abstinence Teachers, we hope the above sample lesson will be helpful to you. Please scroll down to find several sample transparencies which may be made for the overhead projector. It usually helps to let the teens hear and see these facts (it also helps me to stay on track!)

We encourage you NOT to show slides/photos of actual genital STDS to the students. These are overrated and can do harm in two major ways:

1) students will see the blisters, warts, etc., and will then think that as long as they and their sex partners do not have these symptoms, they are uninfected (regardless of what you may have just said);

2) showing pictures of genital areas to groups of students (mixed genders or not) can very easily lead to desensitization, stripping them of their natural modesty. Granted, they can see much worse on the TV; however, for parents and teachers to show these "private areas", even with the best of intentions, can harden teens, increasing the risk of immodesty, and ultimately, sexual activity.

Thank you for your interest in helping our tweens and teens stay pure and return to purity for their health and their futures!

 

TRANSPARENCIES can be found in "Teaching Transparencies – Abstinence Is for Lovers"

Transparency: CHLAMYDIA * MOST COMMON STD * 3,000,000 – 4,000,000 INFECTED EACH YEAR [average 70,000 people per state, divide by # of counties in state, and divide by # people per county] * CAUSED BY BACTERIA — can be treated, but… * 20% do NOT RESPOND TO TREATMENT — DAMAGE ALREADY DONE * RESULTS IN: STERILITY IN WOMEN TUBAL PREGNANCY PNEUMONIA/ FAILURE TO THRIVE IN BABIES * VERY CONTAGIOUS 10-30% OF ALL 15-19 yr-olds WHO ARE SEXUALLY ACTIVE ARE INFECTED CONDOMS PROVIDE VERY LITTLE — IF ANY — PROTECTION

 

Transparency: HERPES SIMPLEX II (HSV) * PAINFUL BLISTERS * CAUSED BY VIRUS — NO CURE * CAN BE TRANSMITTED EVEN IF BLISTERS ARE NOT PRESENT * 20% OF THE US POPULATION OVER AGE 11 IS INFECTED * INCREASES RISK OF HIV (AIDS) TRANSMISSION CONDOMS PROVIDE… LITTLE PROTECTION AGAINST HERPES BECAUSE IT CAN BE TRANSMITTED BY SKIN-TO-SKIN CONTACT

 

Transparency: Herpes II – HIV Link * LINK first identified by the CDC in 1988: "Early in the epidemic, persistent HERPES was one of the FIRST SIGNS of HIV infection. Today it's the most common STD among people with HIV and symptom outbreaks are 2 to 4 times more frequent (in this population)." [Dr. Timothy Schacker, assoc dir of the Division of Infectious Diseases at the Univ of MN, who has been studying the herpes-HIV link for more than a decade] * Researchers theorize that the herpes lesions provide an easy port of entry for the virus. * Public health experts: Herpes is the most serious STD threat because of the exceptionally large number of people infected (45,000,000 Americans over age 11) and because of its suspected ABILITY TO INTERACT with HIV at the CELLULAR LEVEL. * DATA: "… suggest a significant biological interaction between (Herpes & HIV) that results in more efficient sexual transmission of HIV and an increased rate of HIV replication," [2001 issue of the journal Herpes] i.e. the presence of Herpes II seems to accelerate the progression of AIDS

* Recent studies suggest that about 80% of HSV infections are transmitted via cells shed during asymptomatic periods (i.e. passed to others when no blisters/sores — no symptoms — are visible)

Why do these national "health" groups, including the federal CDC, fail to admit that ABSTINENCE IS THE ONLY 100% CERTAIN WAY TO AVOID THESE DANGEROUS DISEASES? (Answer: $$, fear)

"Safe Sex" is a deadly game! Saved Sex is the healthy & smart choice!

 

Transparency: HPV HUMAN PAPILLOMA VIRUS * CAUSES GENITAL WARTS * CAUSES AT LEAST 95% OF ALL CERVICAL CANCER * CAUSES CANCER OF VULVA AND CANCER OF THE PENIS IN MALES * CAUSED BY A VIRUS — NO CURE FOR MOST OF THE 100 STRAINS WARTS CAN BE SCRAPED OFF, BURNED OFF, CUT OFF, FROZEN OFF… BUT USUALLY RETURN * HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS — 1 IN 2 SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS * AT LEAST 10% OF U.S. POPULATION INFECTED * 60% OF SEXUALLY ACTIVE COEDS AT RUTGERS INFECTED * CONDOMS PROVIDE NO PROTECTION AGAINST HPV BECAUSE IT IS TRANSMITTED BY SKIN-TO-SKIN CONTACT

 

Transparency: 2001 MAJOR CONDOM STUDY (i.e. Reality Check 101) * Scientific NIH 20July01 Report ["Scientific Evidence on Condom Effectiveness for Sexually Transmitted Disease Prevention", NIH, the FDA, the CDC, & USAID; www.niaid.nih.gov/dmid/stds/condomreport.pdf; The report, developed by a scientific panel of 28 experts, collaborated to examine 138+ peer-reviewed, published studies on condom effectiveness in the transmission of STDs]

{Condoms have been studied & researched for at least 20-30 years} There is no scientific evidence that condoms prevent the transmission of the 8 major Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

* The researchers found no proof that condoms are effective in preventing the spread of the 8 primary STDs that represent 98% of all cases * . Of eight STDs (HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, chancroid, trichomoniasis, Herpes Simplex II [HSV], & Human Papilloma Virus [HPV]) examined by the panel, condoms were not found to provide universal protection against any of them.

 

Transparency: ALERT!! ALERT!! *** WE DO NOT KNOW THE LONG-TERM EFFECTS OF MOST OF THESE STDs BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOT BEEN AROUND VERY LONG *** IF A PERSON HAS 1 STD, IT IS VERY LIKELY THAT PERSON HAS MORE THAN ONE STD *** THE CHANCE OF ACQUIRING HIV INCREASES DRAMATICALLY IF THE PERSON ALREADY HAS AN STD SUCH AS HPV, HERPES, GONORRHEA, CHLAMYDIA, etc.

Transparency: "the pill" and "the shot" provide NO PROTECTION AGAINST STDs and may actually increase the chances of transmitting STDs

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even with "the pill", at least 12-18 of every 100 girls using it will be pregnant within one year

Transparency: SEX Makes… BABIES !!!

Transparency: YOU CAN GET PREGNANT THE FIRST TIME…

Transparency: Think about it…WHEN 2 PEOPLE HAVE SEX, THEY HAVE SEX WITH EVERY ONE THEY HAVE EVER HAD SEX WITH IN THE PAST They bring all the diseases, all the memories, all the comparisons, all the hurts, and all the heartbreak…

Transparency: When you're on the wrong road going in the wrong direction… speeding up doesn't help…