Men & Abortion

Woman Who Regrets Her Abortion is ‘Suicidal’ With Worry: Did Planned Parenthood Sell My Baby?

It is estimated one of every two women entering a Pregnancy Help Center (PHC) has already experienced an abortion. That tells you at least two things: Counselors at PHCs need to be alert to these women because they are more abortion prone, and there are a lot more people walking around having been touched by abortion than you realize. These realities explain why Vitae Foundation brought Michaelene Fredenburg to Jefferson City on August 26. While here, she addressed a group of PHC directors regarding reproductive grief. “Someone who has had one abortion is at a higher risk of having another abortion. It also makes it more difficult to grieve,” Fredenburg stated. The Wisconsin native would know, as she experienced her own abortion at 18. She thought it would solve her problem. Because it changed her so much, her life fell apart. What helped her put it back together was helping others—both men and women—with the process of reproductive grief. Fredenburg developed a website which is an invitation to individuals to begin looking at the abortion experience. Once they realize they aren’t alone, healing can begin. She said she discovered that women want to investigate their grief in private. PHCs are called upon as a source in that grieving process and can lead individuals to Fredenburg’s AbortionChangesYou.com. “That way she leaves the center knowing you (the PHC) are a safe place to go to open up,” Fredenburg told the center directors. “These women are more vulnerable to a second abortion. If you interrupt that process, they are less likely to have it.” There was also an evening session for Vitae...

Abortion: Effects on Men

ABORTION EFFECTS ON MEN Studies show that abortion hurts men as well as women: The pain of broken relationships. Surveys demonstrated that more than 50% of the male-female relationships end within one year after the abortion of their child. Moral guilt. Of 1,050 men interviewed by the Los Angeles Times, two-thirds of those who acknowledged having fathered an aborted child said they felt guilty about it, and one-third acknowledged feelings of regret. These rates surpassed those which the Times found among post-abortive women. Feelings of helplessness and impotence. The law systematically excludes a man from his wife’s (or partner’s) decision to abort. Men are helpless to save their child, despite the fact that more than 60 percent of surveyed men believe men should be consulted under the law before their partners abort. Although many men want to protect their offspring, the Los Angeles Times found that aborting women only consulted their child’s father 43% of the time. Impoverished character. Abortion encourages sexually predatory habits by releasing men from responsibility for their actions. It has certainly encouraged male abandonment of women who don’t take the easy “out” of abortion. After interviewing 1000 men whose partners were getting abortions, sociologist Arthur Shostak warned that men who are not helped to mourn over an abortion are learning how to be even less involved as nurturing parents in the future. [Excerpted from “Almost a Daddy,” Post Abortion Ministries; from AUL,...

Conceived in Assault

 Conceived in Assault: Robert's Story of Assault – Testimony to State Legislature My name is Robert Bennett. I would like to start off by saying thank you to State Senator, and Director of South Dakota's Right to Life, Mr. Brock Greenfield for bringing me here to South Dakota and for recognizing the value of my unique testimony. I am happy and very proud to be in this room to voice my support for the protection of preborn children. I was born in Naples, Collier County, Florida on February 23, 1971. My mother married my stepfather when I was just two years old. I lived what you might consider a normal childhood. I had the love of my family and mother and had that very important father figure there for me. Growing up I never really wondered who my real father was. At the age of 14 years old I questioned my mother for the first time. 'Who is my biological father?" She told me that he was not worth searching for, and was a no-good drug addict and alcoholic. She then told me that he was in and out of jail all his life and said to forget about him, it's not worth it. But a few years later I thought about it again. It just kind of gnawed at me. I questioned my mother again about the matter. Who was my real father? She told me the same story as before. At that time I decided not to pursue looking or even asking about him any more. She obviously didn't want to talk about it and I didn't...

Post-Abortion Trauma in Men Still Overlooked

Post-Abortion Trauma in Men Still Overlooked Catherine Coyle, Ph.D. [More than thirty] years have passed since the legalization of abortion in the United States. In those years, numerous studies have documented the potential negative effects of abortion on women. The effects of abortion on men however have been largely ignored by both the scientific community and American society. The few published studies concerning men suggest that, like women, men may experience grief,1 anxiety, guilt, helplessness,2 and anger.3 The fact that men tend to repress their emotions may also make it more difficult for them to resolve their grief.4 Even men who support their partners’ abortion may experience ambivalent feelings such as relief along with anxiety, anguish, grief, and guilt.5 About half of the men interviewed by these authors reported that one year after the abortion occurred, they still had frequent (monthly) thoughts about it.6 A recent study by Lauzon et al. (2000) compared men and women involved in first-trimester abortions with a control group of men and women who had not experienced abortion. After the abortion, participants were given a follow-up questionnaire and “three weeks after the abortion, 41.7 percent of women and 30.9 percent of the men were still highly distressed.” The authors concluded that “being involved in a first-trimester abortion can be highly distressing for both women and men."7 The most comprehensive work pertaining to men and abortion was published by Shostak and McLouth in 1984. These authors surveyed 1,000 men in 30 abortion clinics across the United States and followed up with post-abortion interviews involving 75 of those men. The persistence of occasional thoughts about the...

RESOURCES for Men Who Have Lost Fatherhood Through Abortion

RESOURCES FOR MEN WHO HAVE LOST FATHERHOOD THROUGH ABORTION For Men: Healing Resources, Information and Articles —  http://theunchoice.com/men.htm http://www.Menandabortion.info includes research, articles, stories, information and healing resources for men. It also includes information for counselors and others who provide post-abortion help to men. The Fatherhood Forever Foundation is dedicated to helping men find healing and hope after abortion by creating awareness that abortion does have an impact on men and providing encouragement to those seeking help. Lists resources, including books, articles and healing/support organizations — http://fatherhoodforever.org/ The Men and Abortion Network at is a network of researchers, counselors and others who promote healing and create awareness of men's abortion experiences. The site contains helpful articles and links to counseling resources. A speaker's bureau is also available — http://www.menandabortion.net/ http://www.LifeIssues.org/men/Resources.html  Contains additional resources, such as books and referrals for help. Rachel's Vineyard post-abortion healing ministry has information for men. The group provides support for women and men struggling after abortion through weekend retreats and email support. Women or men whose partners have experienced abortion are also invited to attend the retreats with their partner — http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/men/index.htm Abortion Recovery International lists groups that provide healing services for men, as well as for other family members such as grandparents or siblings who have been affected by abortion — http://www.abortionrecovery.org/ Ramah International men's page includes a link to resources. There is also a short page for men whose partners have experienced abortion at www.ramahinternational.org/post-abortive-spouse.html Entering Canaan Days of Prayer and Renewal for men, sponsored by Lumina post-abortion healing ministry and the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, are held several times a year in...

For Men: Help, Healing, More Information

Father's Day Ad/Flyer http://www.theunchoice.com/healingads.htm http://www.theunchoice.com/EINews/Promos/fatherdayspromo.htm   The following are links to organizations and web sites offering information, counseling, research and resources on men and abortion. Inclusion in this list should not be taken as an endorsement of any group's programs or philosophy. The web site at www.menandabortion.info includes research, articles, personal stories, information and healing resources for men. It also includes information for counselors and others who provide post-abortion help to men. Check regularly for updates. The Fatherhood Forever Foundation at www.fatherhoodforever.org/index.html is dedicated to helping men find healing and hope after abortion by creating awareness that abortion does have an impact on men and providing encouragement to those seeking help. Lists resources, including books, articles and healing/support organizations. The Men's Abortion Network at http://www.menandabortion.net/ is a network of researchers, counselors and others who promote healing and create awareness of men's abortion experiences. The site contains helpful articles and links to counseling resources. A speaker's bureau is also available. Additional resources, such as books and referrals for help, can be found at www.lifeissues.org/men/Resources.html Abortion Changes You is a website giving women, men, family members and others involved in an abortion a safe place to share their experiences in a confidential and neutral environment. Includes articles, information and resources on coping with abortion and resolving the experience, along with links to local support and counseling groups. For more information, visit www.abortionchangesyou.com.   Rachel's Vineyard post-abortion healing ministry has information for men on their web site at www.rachelsvineyard.org/men/index.htm. The group provides support for women and men struggling after abortion through weekend retreats and email support. Women or men whose partners have...

Post-Abortion Trauma in Men Still Overlooked

by Catherine Coyle, Ph.D. [More than thirty] years have passed since the legalization of abortion in the United States [1973]. In those years, numerous studies have documented the potential negative effects of abortion on women. The effects of abortion on men however have been largely ignored by both the scientific community and American society. The few published studies concerning men suggest that, like women, men may experience grief,1 anxiety, guilt, helplessness,2 and anger.3 The fact that men tend to repress their emotions may also make it more difficult for them to resolve their grief.4 Even men who support their partners’ abortion may experience ambivalent feelings such as relief along with anxiety, anguish, grief, and guilt.5 About half of the men interviewed by these authors reported that one year after the abortion occurred, they still had frequent (monthly) thoughts about it.6 A recent study by Lauzon et al. (2000) compared men and women involved in first-trimester abortions with a control group of men and women who had not experienced abortion. After the abortion, participants were given a follow-up questionnaire and “three weeks after the abortion, 41.7 percent of women and 30.9 percent of the men were still highly distressed.” The authors concluded that “being involved in a first-trimester abortion can be highly distressing for both women and men."7 The most comprehensive work pertaining to men and abortion was published by Shostak and McLouth in 1984. These authors surveyed 1,000 men in 30 abortion clinics across the United States and followed up with post-abortion interviews involving 75 of those men. The persistence of occasional thoughts about the fetus was evident among...

Forgotten Fathers and Their Unforgettable Children

by David C. Reardon, Ph.D. In the early 1970s, Arthur Shostak accompanied his partner to a well-groomed suburban abortion clinic. They had both agreed abortion was best. But sitting in the waiting room proved to be a "bruising experience." By the time he left the clinic, he was shocked by about how deeply disturbed he had become. A professor of sociology at Drexel University in Philadelphia, Shostak spent the subsequent ten years studying the abortion experience of men. His study included a survey of 1,000 men who accompanied their wives or girlfriends to abortion clinics. Shostak's study was published in Men and Abortion: Lessons, Losses and Love, in 1984. The value of this study is limited to reporting mostly the short term reactions of men to the pregnancy and the decision to abort. In addition, because of the selection process, this study did not reflect the attitudes or experiences of men who did not accompany their partners to the abortion clinic–which could be because they were unaware of the pregnancy and abortion, because they were casual or unsupportive partners, or because they were opposed to the abortion. Despite these significant limitations, Shostak's study, using the largest group of men ever surveyed about their abortions, is still the benchmark study in this understudied field. Shostak reported that the majority of the men surveyed in clinic waiting rooms felt isolated, angry at their partners or themselves, and were concerned about the physical and emotional damage abortion might cause their partner. Only about one-fourth of the men stated that they had offered to pay the costs of raising the child if the...

Reclaiming Fatherhood

 Reclaiming Fatherhood: A Multi-faceted Examination of Men Dealing with Abortion www.menandabortion.info  The impact of an abortion experience on men is unrecognized by many. Men are hidden partners in every abortion decision. Approximately 40 – 50 million abortions have occurred in the U.S. alone since abortion was legalized here. Worldwide the estimates are that more than 43 million abortions occur in a year. In every abortion decision there is a male involved in some way. The man’s role or lack of role in the decision can create a stream of consequences that may accompany the man through the rest of his life. Because men are told they have no say in the abortion decision–that it is about a woman and her choice–they later struggle with the questions they pose to themselves and the emotions they feel. Men often say "I don't feel entitled to my grief. It was her choice. Why do I feel so badly?" More men are recognizing that abortion was a life changing event for them. The difficulty for the man who wants to process the experience, is that there are few resources available to him. Mental health professionals have not recognized that an abortion loss may be a significant event in the life of a man. Addiction counselors, grief facilitators and clergy may not recognize the unresolved grief of an abortion experience that may have occurred many years ago. We are not sensitized to the ways that a hidden loss may play itself out in the lives of those who experience it. [excerpted from www.menandabortion.info] http://www.menandabortion.info/l0-testimonies.html...

Men Grieve Too…

Abortion and Men  — The Forgotten Victims of Choice     Adapted from an article by Vincent M. Rue, PhD & Cynthia Tellefsen         Institute for Pregnancy Loss, Portsmouth , New Hampshire         Does Abortion Affect Men?     How abortion affects men remains largely a story unexamined and untold. In modern abortion practice, gender discrimination is rampant; women may choose, fathers may not. By law, fathers are excluded from participating in the abortion.     Men and the Problem Pregnancy     Prior to a woman aborting her child, there are six scenarios of male involvement:           o He doesn’t know she is pregnant and she aborts without his knowledge;           o He knows about the pregnancy but hides his own feelings or beliefs from the woman out of his attempt to “love” her and affirm her rights over her body;           o He pressures her to abort;           o He supports and encourages her decision to abort;           o He opposes the abortion and says so openly; and           o He abandons her physically and emotionally, refusing responsibility for her or any of her choices.     Forgotten Fathers     In the only book on abortion and men, Shostak describes male abortion pain as the loss of fatherhood and a “wound you cannot see or feel, but it exists”. (A. Shostak. Abortion and Men: Lessons, Losses and Love. NY, Praeger, 1984).     According to Shostak, a man gets an incredible message at the first real evidence of his virility, his partner announces she is pregnant, and he is the father and “we are going to have a $US180 pregnancy termination”. In interviewing...

Giving Voice to the Fathers: Fathers are Silent No More (Nov07)

http://www.lifeissues.org/connector/2008/Feb08_GivingVoiceToFathers.htm GIVING VOICE TO THE FATHERS By Bradley Mattes, MBS The event was publicized as a first of its kind and made news across the nation. It inflamed pro-abortion activists and has been billed by the media as a “new” concept in the debate over abortion. Pro-life leaders, counselors, clergy and other interested individuals gathered in San Francisco, California for a history-making event. It was the first ever conference examining the issue of men and abortion. The gathering, called Reclaiming Fatherhood: A Multifaceted Examination of Men Dealing With Abortion. Never before has such an impressive list of speakers and experts congregated for the sole purpose of assisting the fathers of aborted babies — dads who will never be able to hold their babies or some day teach them the fine art of hitting a baseball. These may be men who supported the decision to abort their offspring, opposed the abortion with every fiber of their being, or were never even aware of the pregnancy until after their unborn baby had died in the abortion mill. Vicki Thorn, the Executive Director and founder of the National Office of Post-Abortion Reconciliation and Healing, organized the conference. Vicki has a long history of providing hope and healing to women who have chosen abortion. She has also become involved with reaching men. The event was co-sponsored by the Knights of Columbus and the Archdiocese of San Francisco. Funding for the conference was secured just months before the gathering. The fact that Vicki and her staff were able to assemble such an impressive faculty was a testimony to their diligent efforts and the dedication...

Can You Hear Their Pain? Men & Abortion

 For another article: When Daddy's Dream Died, Daddy Died Too Men & Abortion http://www.lifeissues.org/men/index.html Can You Hear Their Pain? Research shows that about eight percent of the fathers who lose a child to abortion suffer severe psychological effects. That’s nearly 4 million walking wounded! Millions more suffer to lesser degrees. Most in the pro-life movement understand the importance of helping women who suffer from post-abortion stress. But have you considered the pain felt by the fathers? Do you know what the symptoms are and how to treat them? Few pro-life leaders possess the knowledge needed to create awareness of the pain felt by post-abortive fathers. Further, they are not equipped to assist men who are suffering. That doesn’t need to be the case any longer. Life Issues Institute is pleased to make available “Can You Hear Their Pain?” a PowerPoint-type presentation on men and abortion. We’ve used more sophisticated software to make it extremely user-friendly, and it contains attractive graphics and images. More importantly, it will thoroughly educate your audience as to why men are affected by abortion, what the symptoms are and how best to treat them. The CD-ROM comes complete with both a secular and Christian version. In each case, a full script accompanies the presentation. You don’t have to be an expert to educate others on the effect abortion has on the fathers of unborn babies. There is also information on available resources to help men on the path to hope and healing. You can help make a difference in the lives of countless men who struggle with a past abortion decision. Many suffer in silence,...

How Abortion Hurts Men / Aftershocks of Male Post-Abortion Trauma (update)

Studies show that abortion hurts men as well as women, leaving the former with the following consequences:   The pain of broken relationships. Surveys demonstrate that more than 50 percent of male-female relationships end within a year after the abortion of their child. National surveys have found that most surviving relationships experience increased relational problems because of the abortion.   Moral guilt. Of 1,050 men interviewed by the Los Angeles Times, two-thirds of those who acknowledged having fathered an aborted child said they felt guilty about it, and one-third acknowledged feelings of regret. These rates surpassed those which the Times found among post-abortive women. Feelings of helplessness and impotence. The law systematically excludes a man from his wife’s or partner’s) decision to abort. Men are helpless to save their child, despite the fact that more than 60 percent of surveyed men believe men should be consulted under the law before their partners abort. Although many men want to protect their offspring, the Los Angeles Times found that aborting women only consulted their child’s father 43 percent of the time.   Impoverished character. Abortion encourages sexually predatory habits by releasing men from responsibility for their actions. It has certainly encouraged male abandonment of women who don’t take the easy “out” of abortion. After interviewing 1,000 men whose partners were getting abortions, sociologist Arthur Shostak warned that men who aren’t helped to mourn over an abortion are learning how to be even less involved as nurturing parents in the future. [Excerpted from “Almost a Daddy”. 1990, Post Abortion Ministries; Americans United for Life, 1993] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~    The book, Fatherhood Aborted: The...

Abortion — Men Hurt Too

Fathers suffer from the abortion of their children…While the prochoice movement ignores the rights of fathers in this area, the pro-life movement acknowledges their pain and offers healing and a strong affirmation of the value of fatherhood. If you're facing an abortion decision, or if there's one in your past, there's something you should know. Evidence is mounting that the fathers of aborted children can be dramatically affected by an abortion decision. Why are you affected? In many ways men respond very differently to the loss of a child from abortion. To understand your reaction, it is important to first understand what motivates the human male. Instinct drives men to achieve success in five key areas of their lives: the ability to procreate, provide, protect, perform and [enjoy] pleasure. An important element motivating men is their desire to procreate. Men provide an essential role in the continuation of the human race. Almost every man, whether he verbalizes it or not, values the idea of having offspring of his own flesh and blood – carrying on the family name or bloodline. Men are also highly programmed to protect their family. This need to protect their offspring should not be underestimated. Society often judges you based on your ability to be successful at procreation, provision, protection, performance and pleasure. If you experience an abortion, these key elements of life may be seriously damaged, or often totally obliterated. (1) The Symptoms The most consistent and evident symptom in men due to loss of a child from abortion is anger. He will almost certainly experience a higher level of anger after the abortion...