Responses – Defending Life / Rebuttals / Advocacy / Dating / Adoption

One Man's Story of Abortion

"That Day Ripped My Gut Out" One Man's Story of Abortion   For every woman who has had an abortion a man has been involved. For me it was two abortions. I think that because we live in such a visual world where we can't see the baby from conception, it just doesn't seem real. I know this may seem like a simple analogy, but … we cannot see corn that was just planted; yet, that doesn't make it any less a vegetable. My story begins at 16 when I heard that first "I'm pregnant" from my girlfriend. Read entire article —...

We Were Just Having "Harmless Fun"

I found out I was pregnant on my 18th birthday.  Pregnant by a guy I didn't care about and he didn't care about me.  We were just having "harmless fun".    To make matters worse I found out I had HPV as well!    I had no idea how to tell my parents.  My mom found out when I was too dizzy to walk down the stairs and she asked me straight up and I told her I was pregnant.  She then told my Dad who immediately said "well she's going to have an abortion".    I realized then I wanted to give it up for adoption and thought I could see it through.  My mom supported me in this and we went and met with an agency who told me to come back in a few months and we could start looking at profiles of potential parents.  I really wanted to do it right there and then (I understand why that's not a good idea now though).    I won't even start at how unsupportive the birth father was.  My life was simplified, I would go to work and then come home and sleep.  That was all I really had energy for.    Then one night I decided to go out with a friend to go dancing – no drinking though I had a baby to think about.  I met this guy who seemed nice, we went on a couple of dates and I really started to like him.  He was actually nice to me and treated me with respect!    I realized then that I couldn't keep dating...

So Much of Me Died… Repeat Abortions

So Much of Me Died: One Woman's Story of Repeat Abortions I remember the events surrounding my abortions clearly. There are some things that are so utterly terrible, so devastating, they never fade from the mind or heart. I idolized my boyfriend, whom I met when I was 17. We had been together on and off for several years. Despite his treatment of me, which at times could be very cruel, and his vicious temper, I truly loved him. I just had to try harder, or be better, or take more care to avoid upsetting him. I dreaded his temper and would put up with just about anything to avoid a scene. I think that he became aware of this gradually, because over the years his dominion over me increased to a point where he became a tyrant. I had to wear what he said, do my hair the way he wanted, never have friends of my own over unless he was out of town. I really never stopped to analyze any of this. I guess I was too young and besotted with him to realize that ours was not a normal relationship. I believed that if only I could please him more, everything would be all right. When I found out I was pregnant, I was thrilled. It had not been planned, but I was truly happy. I spent most of the day working out the baby’s due date, who it would look like, and thoughts of that nature, but when my boyfriend arrived home and I broke the news, he flew into a terrifying rage. I wept,...

The Death Penalty … A Play on Words (2010)

According to a May 2 Washington Post report authored by Rob Stein, there’s something fuzzy in the thinking of the policy makers at the American Board of Anesthesiology. The organization is going to censure any member who agrees to participate in the execution of a prisoner whose sentence involves a lethal injection.  In the actual statement made by the group, we find the following: ABA certification includes more than passing examinations; it also includes maintaining high professional and ethical standards. Specifically, it is the ABA’s Professional Standing Policy that diplomats should use their clinical skills and judgment for promoting an individual's health and welfare. To do otherwise would undermine a basic ethical foundation of medicine which is – first do no harm. If diplomates of the ABA participate in an execution by lethal injection, they may be subject to disciplinary action, including revocation of their ABA diplomate status.  Think about this. Members of the human family who are not convicted of a crime by judge and jury, but who are nonetheless killed due to their so-called condition, routinely become recipients of either anesthesia or massive doses of painkillers to help them out of their lives. If a physician prescribes a lethal overdose while aiding and abetting an assisted suicide or directly killing a sick patient, the ABA has nothing to say. Or if an expectant mother is going to abort her baby and requires some type of anesthesia, the group again remains silent. Why is it then that murdering the innocent by acts of abortion and euthanasia are approved and apparently defined as doing no harm while a convicted...

It's Not Enough to be 'Wanted' (2007)

Illegitimacy has risen despite — indeed, because of — legal abortion. [ed. 41% of U.S. births are now out-of-wedlock] The abortion debate usually centers on the morality of the act itself. But liberalizing abortion rules from 1967 to 1973 ignited vast social changes in America. With the perennial political debate over abortion again consuming the presidential campaign and the Supreme Court, it might be time to evaluate what Roe v. Wade has meant in practical terms. One often misunderstood fact: Legal abortions just didn't start with Roe, or even with the five states that liberalized abortion laws in 1969 and 1970. Prior to Roe, women could have abortions when their lives or health were endangered. Doctors in some states, such as Kansas, had very liberal interpretations of what constituted danger to health. Nevertheless, Roe did substantially increase abortions, more than doubling the rate per live birth in the five years from 1972 to 1977. But many other changes occurred at the same time:     * A sharp increase in premarital sex.     * A sharp rise in our-of-wedlock births.     * A drop in the number of children placed for adoption.     * A decline in marriages that occur after the woman is pregnant. Some of this might seem contradictory. Why would both the number of abortions and of out-of-wedlock births go up? If there were more illegitimate births, why were fewer children available for adoption? As to the first puzzle, part of the answer lies in attitudes to premarital sex. With abortion seen as a badk-up, women as well as men became less careful in using contraceptives as...

Commentary: The Consequences of Admitting The ABC Link (4/10)

In my previous column, I revealed that the son of the founder of the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation is in a joint business venture with Planned Parenthood of the Great Northwest. Located in Washington state, PPGNW holds a 12.5 percent share of the Metro Centre mall in Peoria, Ill., where Nancy Goodman Brinker's son Eric Brinker maintains "controlling interest," according to an e-mail he sent me. Eric is also a Komen board member. This only matters because Komen refuses to acknowledge the link between abortion and breast cancer while it insists on bestowing grants to affiliates of the United States' largest abortion provider, Planned Parenthood. That Eric Brinker is in business with one of those affiliates thickens the plot. Brinker wrote me that only "20 of Komen's 122 U.S. affiliates fund breast health services through local Planned Parenthood clinics." Coincidentally, two of those 20, Komen Puget Sound and Komen Boise, fund Brinker's business partner, PPGNW. Komen has gone to quite a bit of trouble to protect what it claims is an infinitesimal relationship with Planned Parenthood. Stating Planned Parenthood receives "less than 1 percent" of its donations, Komen now has a webpage, message points and a dispensation letter from a Catholic named Norman dedicated to sanctioning their relationship. Why? If there were even the remotest chance abortion causes breast cancer, which several worldwide studies conducted over the course of many decades confirm, wouldn't a responsible breast-cancer foundation back away from any risk of facilitating it? Eric wrote in his e-mail to me, in bold, "There is no conclusive link between abortion and breast cancer." "Conclusive," interesting. Was...

I Felt I Had No Other Choice

Helene's Story I grew up in a church-going family, but not a Christ-centered home. I was a good kid. … I had my days when I was very ornery, and I liked to see how far I could push the limits, but when it came down to the line, “no” meant no, and I listened. I had only dated very briefly in high school; they were very good innocent experiences. I believe it was because I had a wonderful Sunday School teacher. She talked with us about the blessings of how God intended sex for marriage and the joy of waiting for marriage. Her words penetrated my heart and I knew it was the right thing to do. Overall I breezed through high school, was accepted into a college and was very excited about my future. My sexual assault was what has been titled date or acquaintance rape. My freshman year of college I was dating a young man who I had met that previous summer. We had talked about what we believed in and he knew my convictions about saving sex for my husband. Yet after a few months of dating he became impatient with waiting and forced himself on me against my protest. After the assault I blamed myself for letting it happen; I felt it was my fault and that I could have somehow avoided it. I did not realize until much later that it was a rape. I was scared of him; therefore, I did not tell anyone what had happened. Two months later I became sick with the flu, only this flu did not...

All I Wanted Was My Baby

Jill's Story Note: The following testimony is excerpted from the book Giving Sorrow Words: Women's Stories of Grief After Abortion by Melinda Tankard Reist. My boyfriend and I had been going steady for over 12 months, sure we were going to wait until we got married. I was 16 and a virgin, but we saw each other every day and one time the petting went to the point of no return. I had just had an appendix operation and I thought that was why my period was late. Think again: sure enough, I was pregnant.   By three months my pregnancy was starting to show. My boyfriend and I were really happy about it and I bought my first maternity dress. One Sunday night, instead of going to church, we decided to tell my parents. Their reaction took me totally by surprise. They told my boyfriend, whom they never liked anyway, to get out. Their only words to me were, "You are having an abortion!"   ABORTION! That was something that had not even entered my head. I loved this baby growing in me; I didn't want to kill it. But I wasn’t asked what I wanted.   The next step was an appointment with the family doctor. Yes, no worries—hadn't he arranged the same thing for his daughter when she got into trouble? Anything to help a friend. Dad told me how one of his girlfriends had become pregnant and had an abortion and years later had thanked him that she had. I didn’t want to know; all I knew was they were trying to kill my baby....

Commentary: Pro-Life Laws and Politicians Reduce Abortions (2008)

Pro-Life Laws and Politicians Reduce Abortions by Dr. Michael New October 27, 2008 LifeNews.com Note: Dr. Michael New is a political science professor at the University of Alabama and holds a Ph.D. from Stanford University. He is one of the foremost authorities on how abortion laws affect abortion rates across the nation. During the past 35 years, the pro-life movement has made real progress. The number of abortions has fallen in 12 out of the past 14 years and the total number of abortions has declined by 21 percent since 1990. These gains are largely due to pro-life political victories at the federal level in the 1980s and at the state level in the 1990s which have made it easier to pass pro-life legislation. As Election Day approaches, the mainstream media is, as usual, showcasing self-identified ''pro-lifers'' who are supporting the Democratic Party's pro-abortion presidential nominee. In 2004, a number of media outlets cited an analysis by ethicist Glen Harold Stassen which claimed–wrongly–that the number of abortions had increased slightly since President Bush's inauguration in 2001. The New York Times published an op-ed by Dean Mark Roche of Notre Dame encouraging pro-life Catholics to vote for John Kerry. This year the story is similar. Former Reagan administration Assistant Attorney General Doug Kmiec and Duquesne University Law Professor Nicholas Cafardi, both of whom claim to be opponents of abortion, have received plenty of media attention for their support of Barack Obama. Their arguments are the same ones put forward in 2004. They have not improved with age. Most of these authors attempt to make one of two points: either a)...

Commentary: The Abortionist's Eye is On Us: King's Niece Fights This Era's Civil Rights Battle (09)

Commentary: The Abortionist's Eye is On Us: King's Niece Fights This Era's Civil Rights Battle By Alveda C. King Let me begin by telling you that two of 50 million children taken away by abortionists since 1973 were mine. I can still see them in my mind's eye. Like many black women, I once believed the doctor who told me my babies were no more than "a blob of tissue." I wanted to believe it. Eventually, I realized I was wrong, that I was a secondary victim of abortion. I repented and found healing through God. Today, I work in the civil rights movement of the our century — the right of every one of every race to live. I am asking you to join me. Let me tell you why. Abortion and racism are evil twins, born of the same lie. Where racism now hides its face in public, abortion is accomplishing the goals of which racism only once dreamed. Together, abortionists are destroying humanity at large and the black community in particular. Abortion has taken a gruesome toll on the black community, killing more than AIDS and crime combined. Some 14 million black babies have been aborted since the 1973 U.S. Supreme Court Roe v. Wade decision that legalized abortion in all stages in all 50 states. That's equal to one-third of the number of blacks living today. By the abortion industry's own statistics, black women are 4.8 times more likely to abort than are non-Hispanic white women. Blacks comprise about 13 percent of the population, yet have 37 percent of all abortions. When dramatic racial disparities...

Commentary: Why Do Doctors Withhold Abortion's Medical, Mental Health Risks From Women? (2008)

On every medical procedure done, 95% of recipients want to be fully informed of all statistically related risks (1). If the author is replacing his knee, he would want to know the expected recovery time, pain to expect, pain duration, prosthesis lifetime, possible complications, and possible problems with a metal detector. This demand occurs even if the casual connection between the procedure and the risk has not been fully proven. But not abortion. It would eliminate business. This procedure is not required for the patient's life, even if it destroys another life. Are the risks are worth it? A fact noted in (2), 10% of women undergoing elective abortion will suffer the immediate complications of perforation of the uterus, infection, embolism, retained tissue, hemorrhage, cervical injury, endotoxic shock, 'boggy' uterus, or failure to recognize an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy. Tubal pregnancies increase by 30% after one abortion by 160% after two (5). In another study (3), over 50% of women experienced one or more of the following after abortions: depression, guilt, regret, nervousness, and insomnia. Sleep (4) shows that women are 2x as likely to have sleep disorders after an abortion. From (6) an abortion results in a 65% higher risk (compared to no abortion) of Clinical Depression, in (7) a 30% higher risk of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (according to BMC Psychiatry, women who have had an abortion typically experience post-traumatic stress disorder[PTSD]), in (8) a 5x higher risk of substance abuse. Also, in (9 & 15) abortion results in a 160% higher risk of hospitalization for psychiatric treatment, in (10) a 62% higher risk of death from all causes(6x...

Words and Phrases to Drop from Pro-LIfe Vocabulary (11/09)

WORDS AND PHRASES TO DROP FROM OUR PRO-LIFE VOCABULARY As personhood advocates, it is critically important that we use the correct terminology to describe preborn babies, their mothers, the very act of abortion and even the facilities in which abortions are committed. It doesn’t matter if you are a full time pro-life advocate or a “normal” person who works, goes to school, takes care of your family, etc. We must all watch what we say in daily life—even in casual conversation. So, the words we use are very powerful and can make the difference between life and death. You might be surprised to realize that even we pro-lifers often use terms and phrases that can be dehumanizing to the very people we are trying to save. That can cause confusion and can hamper our efforts to obtain recognition of the human rights of all human persons. As we educate the public and advocate for the rights of all human persons, born and preborn, we must seriously examine the language we use and make some changes, if necessary. With that in mind, I am going to share with you this short list of terms and phrases that we should drop from our pro-life vocabulary: 1. Fetus, embryo—These terms are generally used by abortion supporters, but I also notice pro-lifers using these terms often. Fetus and embryo are actually terms referring to stages of development. Their use begs the question, which animal species, during its embryonic or fetal development, are you referring to? For human beings, embryo describes human development from the very beginning of a human being’s life through their...

The Woman Who Started it All (2009)

I recently got an unexpected phone call from a pro-life voice of the past. It was Nancyjo Mann. For those who’ve been in the pro-life movement for decades, like Dr. Willke and me, her name alone conjures up memories. If you don’t know who Nancyjo is, you should. If you’re a woman who’s experienced abortion and sought counsel or spoken out against its harmful effects, your ability to do so was in part made possible by Nancyjo. Let me explain. Nearly 10 years after the Supreme Court legalized abortion, women who had experienced the horrors of abortion still only spoke out if their identities were protected. They feared a negative reaction from society. Nancyjo was the first mother of an aborted child to publicly take the national stage in the abortion debate. In 1982, Dr. Willke was speaking in Iowa Falls, Iowa. It was a particularly cold winter night, but there had been a good turnout in the gymnasium. The crowd had dispersed and Dr. Willke had packed up his books and literature, looking forward to laying his weary head on a warm, soft pillow. But Bob Dopf, a local pro-life leader, excitedly came up to him and said, “You’ve got to hear what this young lady has to say!” Dr. Willke politely declined, saying his early flight out of Cincinnati and the long day of lecturing and media interviews had left him exhausted. But Bob insisted and he reluctantly agreed. In walked a young twenty-something woman. She certainly didn’t fit the typical description of a pro-lifer in the early eighties. She had hair dyed in a purple punk...

Vitae Monologues Presents the Heart-Wrenching Aftermath of Abortion for Women

Theatre at its best explores the depth of the human experience, showcasing both tragedy and triumph in well-chosen words and spellbinding performances. But it is a rare thing indeed for a modern play to accurately portray the trauma that is abortion. The Vitae Monologues does just that, piecing together the real-life testimonies of women and men who have gone through the agony of the abortion experience. It’s hard not to be moved, seeing the anguish of a woman doubled over in emotional pain, or a man cradling an invisible baby. I had a chance to view the Vitae Monologues for the first time in Waynesboro, Pennsylvania as part of the play’s current East Coast tour. The cast consists of just two people — Jeremy and Sarah Stanbary, a husband-and-wife team who brilliantly capture the heartache that comes with abortion. Jeremy and Sarah manage to create a number of entirely believable characters who are trying to deal with the emotional fallout from their abortions. The biggest on-stage prop is a projection screen on which scenes are played out which further aid the playgoer in vicariously experiencing the aftermath of abortion. As one playgoer states on the production company’s web site: “This is wrenching and powerful stuff. I walked out of the auditorium feeling like I’d been turned inside out. Several people were sniffling. I was wiping tears away…I would never use the word ‘play’ in referring to ‘The Vitae Monologues’. ‘Play’ doesn’t fit. This is drama – and even that word seems weak. These are real stories. You will hear them. They will speak to you. It’s real.” The production...

Honest Questions, Haunting Answers

Honest Questions, Haunting Answers (Editor’s note: This story contains a graphic account of a second-trimester abortion and may not be suitable for young readers.) I have asked myself what could have altered the events that led up to the murder of my child. What could anyone have said, what could anyone have shown me that would have changed my mind? How is it, I ask, that I, already a mother of a two-year-old—a good mother, a loving mother, who deeply understood what it was to love a child, could so calculatedly agree to end the life of a baby I already knew? These are all questions I have asked. After all, I wanted this baby—a baby who already had a name; a baby whom I could feel moving in my womb; a baby with eyelids, eyebrows and fingernails grown to the end of her fingertips; a baby who could hear and distinguish my voice; a baby who could feel pain.   …But the hard lessons always come. …That’s why the timing was so important. I had buried the memory of this baby in a grave so deep that I don’t even know if I ever brought the nightmare of it to the forefront of my thinking. How could I? It would have killed me. It has been 15 years since it happened. Dilation and extraction I was five-and-a-half months pregnant—my baby was at 22 weeks of gestation—when I was told that, most likely, she would not live to term. The ultrasound revealed severe edema about the head. I was still lying on the table, the audible heartbeat of my...

If, If, IF, IF ONLY…

There is no consoling a woman who has gone through an abortion…   My children have no graves, tossed out as "medical waste". I was told that early abortion was just a mass of cells akin to slicing some skin off one's finger even though such a slice will never create a human life. Why didn't they tell me about the means of "disposal" of my children?   If they presented all considerations BEFORE abortion, most women — if not all — would realize they are carrying a human being, and would choose life. No one ever put it as the simple truth it is: you have the free will to do whatever you want; but once done, you can never take it back. If, If, IF, IF ONLY — words of regret that can never change the magnitude of what I chose to do…   Should your organization use this piece, it is written by a woman who once was little "Suzie" and she had no idea what hell was ahead of her… [letter from a woman who experienced two abortions, one from rape, many years...

Reducing Abortions: Two Editorials (4/09)

Obama Administration Call 'With Both Sides' to Reduce Abortions Compared to Hitler's Peace Conference Peace! Peace! But there is no Peace Commentary by Brian Johnston, Western Director for National Right to Life Committee Last Friday, three Obama staffers held a conference call ‘with both sides’ of the abortion debate; the supposed goal – reduce the number of abortions. There is something just a little odd here. The first question one must ask is well, “Why?” “Why would one want to reduce the number of abortions? What is wrong with abortion that there should be fewer of them?” Readers of this blog, and most other Americans intuitively know the answer to that. Each abortion kills a vulnerable human being. But why merely ‘reduce’ the total number? Remember, these are not accidental deaths. These aren’t traffic deaths. These are government sponsored, and in many states (like California), government financed, intentional killing. The Obama Administration is publicly admitting there is something wrong with these; because there is something wrong, it is “reaching out.” But is it? While there were both pro and anti-abortion groups on the conference call, the supposed ‘peacemakers’ from the President’s “team” were each former abortion advocacy leaders – one from NOW, one from EMILY’s list, and the third a pro-abortion political operative. These were Mr. Obama’s ‘peace’ representatives. Mr. Obama has not only filled his administration with the most radical representatives of the abortion lobby, he has pledged to support the FOCA which would prohibit any restrictions on abortion. But he calls for peace. For a little perspective, how should we react if those who similarly oversaw other...

Flashpoint! A Woman’s Right To Choose (1/09)

by Gary Graham I’m not a person filled with hate. I don’t brew strong stomach acids when I hear/see things I think horrendously idiotic or unjust in the news or on the street. Initially, my reaction is to laugh. The irony is simply too much, and I crack up. Generally, it’s either laugh…or cry. And who wants to spend the day in tears? For I would, were I to give in to that option of dealing with the utter, naked insanity in our midst on a daily basis. I’m not just talking about something that ‘isn’t quite right’ or… ‘is just a tad out of whack’…I’m talking about the United States of America in this year of 2009 being completely off its moorings and slipping into the abyss. “What the h— is Graham on about now?? What momentous, screeching rant is he conjuring up now; can somebody put him on a stupid TV show so he’d shut up already??” – Your name here. No. I’m going to say it. I’m going to say what millions know in the front of their brains, and many, many more millions know in the depths of their hearts…but won’t allow themselves to think it, much less feel it. And believe me, I know I’ll be hated for saying it, I’ll be hated by people who don’t know me, have never worked with me, have never golfed with me, had a drink with me, shot the shit with me. They’ve never met me, don’t want to meet me…but they will hate me. I’m going to say it anyway: Abortion is murder. Screams, bomb blasts,...

Commentary: Rivers of Blood

[This is not a typical article on this website. It is written from an Evangelical Christian point-of-view. The reason it is posted at all is for the unpleasant environmental perspective it presents. While hormonal contraceptives are generally recognized by the scientifically-honest (and politically-incorrect) as causing pollution in our water supplies which cannot be removed by water treatment plants (primarily estrogens), the realization that very early human embryos are also being flushed into our waterways in large numbers has probably not crossed most of our minds until now. Welcome to a new & shocking reality of our politically-correct world…]     A Brazilian pro-life Evangelical writes about the contraceptive culture and prophecies in Revelation LifeSiteNews Guest Commentary by Julio Severo  In the early days of the human race, Cain killed Abel and buried him, and the Bible says that Abel's blood cried out from the ground. The murder of Abel did not go unpunished or forgotten. In the end times, the Bible tells us that rivers, seas and the fountains of water will "become blood as of a dead man" (Revelation 16:3-4), explaining that because of the shedding of innocent blood (see Revelation 16:5-6), judgment shall come. From the beginning to the end, the Bible makes it clear that no murder of innocents goes unpunished, because their blood cries out for justice. Today, perhaps in fulfillment of these prophesies, rivers have become deposits of annihilated lives. Hundreds of millions of women use pills and other birth-control devices that provoke micro-abortions that end flushed in toilets, and then into rivers. Micro-aborted children: Who cares? The current generation was conditioned not to...

An Industry of Racism (2008)

EDITORIAL Planned Parenthood recently opened a new, 50,000-square-foot, big-box abortion store in Stapleton. Gated and nicely landscaped, the facility is the latest façade erected by an industry that has operated behind veneers, euphemisms, and outright falsehoods for its entire existence. One of that industry's ugly truths, though, is now piercing the public relations veil it has so carefully woven. What's not new is the fact that the killing tools of abortionists are as aimed at blacks today as were the fire hoses of segregationists 50 years ago. Taking more African-American lives than gun violence, heart disease, cancer, and AIDS combined, abortion seems to have targeted blacks in a way that can only make remaining Ku Klux Klan members smile. For every three living African-Americans, there is one who has been aborted. The numbers speak for themselves. According to the abortion industry's own Alan Guttmacher Institute, black women are 4.8 times more likely to have an abortion than white women. African Americans comprise about 13 percent of the population, yet receive 37 percent of all abortions. [CDC] And like Planned Parenthood's new Colorado mega-center, most abortion businesses are located in or adjacent to predominantly minority neighborhoods. The racism in Planned Parenthood's history is undeniable. America's largest abortion provider was founded by Margaret Sanger, a woman who wanted what she termed "more children from the fit, less from the unfit." She once described aboriginal Australians as "just a step higher than the chimpanzee in brain development." She had no problem speaking to a Klan meeting. That racism still exists in Planned Parenthood is also undeniable. Earlier this year in taped conversations,...