Responses – Advocacy / Dating / Instruction & Teaching Abstinence

MYTH: ‘My Future Spouse Will Complete Me’

Loneliness can be one of the most difficult things we as humans can experience. For many singles, the feeling of loneliness can be a motivating factor in finding the perfect spouse. However, finding the perfect spouse can drive a person to give up a healthy relationship for fear there is a better person out there. The desire to find the perfect spouse is understandable. When entering a lifelong covenant one must assess the overwhelming joy and the inevitable sacrifices marriage brings. For most people, this is the first life-long decision they have ever made. In relationships how often do we guard our hearts too closely when the need to surrender to an almighty, trustworthy God is necessary. Strive to learn the motivation of your restless heart. Take the anxieties and worries that plague you to a grace-filled God who provides rest, peace and hope. Evaluate your expectations. The reality is there is no perfect person on the planet. Marriages require us to be sacrificing, honest, and willing to serve. Your spouse may complement you, but he (or she) will never complete you. That is Christ’s job. Check out these three components to a successful marriage: 1. Character Assessing the character of another person allows you to understand if you value the same things. There will always be something to disagree on; however, having similar commitments and a cohesive worldview is important. 2. Chemistry Chemistry is easily assessed and helps in understanding that two people are attracted to one another. Contrary to what culture teaches us, chemistry isn’t just about physical attraction. There is also emotional attraction. Infatuation stems from...

Gender Ideology, Children, Objective Sexual Abuse, Comprehensive Sex Education: 3 Articles

The War on Abstinence and Fidelity A recent comment in The Lancet makes the case that when it comes to international HIV/AIDS prevention, abstinence and fidelity should be abandoned in favor of comprehensive sexuality education (CSE). Titled “A farewell to abstinence and fidelity?”, the brief article was written by authors from UNAIDS, the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education, and University College, London. Discussing the High-Level Meeting on Ending Aids held in June, they wrote: “Many socially conservative Member States, in alliance with the Holy See, argued against the deletion of abstinence and fidelity as core components of effective HIV prevention. They were urged on by actors on the margins who provided delegates with misinformation and spurious arguments in opposition to comprehensive sexuality education.” Proponents of CSE will not tolerate even the inclusion of abstinence and fidelity alongside other measures; only deletion will do. What nobody disputes is that abstinence and fidelity, when practiced consistently, are effective in preventing HIV, crisis pregnancies, and sexually transmitted infections, not to mention the emotional and psychological consequences of sex outside marriage. While CSE advocates frequently claim that abstinence education is ineffective in changing behavior—certainly a disputable claim—they show little interest in coming up with more effective abstinence-based curricula. Rather, they seek to impose a set of values around human sexuality that are highly controversial and, in many parts of the world, utterly unacceptable. Particularly when it comes to young adolescents, sexual activity can have devastating consequences, and brings no benefits. The fastest-growing health risk for adolescents around the world is “unsafe” sexual activity—but it isn’t as if “safe” sexual activity is beneficial to...

Pediatricians: Abstinence on the Rise

Pediatricians: Abstinence on the Rise A new report from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) reveals that nearly 60 percent of high school students today have never had sex – an increase of 28 percent since 1991 — http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/data/yrbs/results.htm Factsheet: http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/data/yrbs/pdf/2015/2015_us_pregnancy.pdf In a press statement about the report, the American College of Pediatricians says the news “demonstrates clearly that Sexual Risk Avoidance (SRA), or sexual abstinence, is a relevant message for youth and a goal they can achieve.” In addition, the College says the CDC’s report also shows that Comprehensive Sex Education (CSE) is “failing.” “Teens who do choose to engage in sexual activity are using less birth control; sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are on the rise, as is adolescent depression, sometimes referred to as the emotional STI,” the College notes. “Sexual abstinence is the only behavior choice that offers adolescents 100% protection against the triple epidemic of depression, STIs and teen pregnancy due to early sexual debut.” Planned Parenthood has long pushed for sex education in schools that includes information about abortion, birth control, and – more recently – “LGBTQ-inclusive sex ed.” The abortion business announced in December it’s working with militant LGBT groups such as the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), the Human Rights Campaign, and the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS) to promote so-called “safe sex” among LGBTQ youth. The groups are jointly attacking “abstinence only” education in a new brief titled “A Call to Action: LGBTQ Youth Need Inclusive Sex Education,” which calls for a “safe and accepting space” for LGBTQ students in schools and the requirement of...

Fox News: Sex & College

Earlier this week Fox News aired a report titled “The Truth About Sex & College.” It tells the true story of a typical “casual hook-up” on a college campus that ended with an assault charge and a ruined reputation for a young man. As in most casual hook-ups, the one in the report involved extremely high levels of alcohol. This all comes back to one question – can someone consent to sex when they’ve been drinking? Many universities have decided that the answer is no. The fact that we are even being forced to have these conversations all over college campuses is disheartening. When did sex become so worthless that it is not worth remembering? When did sex become something that drunken strangers partake in? Parents, educators and influencers need to be the voices of reason for our youth and young adults; sex is an invaluable gift that should only be experienced within a committed marriage relationship. [16 Dec 2015,...

Lessons from a Sexting Scandal

When it comes to sex education, parents have a lot of competition – media, the Internet, peer groups and Planned Parenthood style sex education. Sometimes the uphill battle can feel overwhelming, but surveys have shown that children actually prefer to get information about sex from their parents. Last month a school in Colorado suffered a sexting scandal that turned hundreds of nude photos into a competition about the students. As a parent or a teacher, how do you control this? This article draws on three very important lessons that were learned from this scandal. 1. Put a problem in the “too hard” basket and it will get worse. 2. It’s a tough call for parents to protect their children in a pornified, smartphone age, but the kids will be much better armed against it if they have a good relationship with mom and dad at home. 3. If text-messaging services and organizations like Planned Parenthood are the people forming the ideas of teachers and other public servants, the next, bigger sexting scandal can’t be far off. [16 Dec 2015,...

Respectful Resolve: 12 Points for Parents to Consider

Are you ever upset about what your children are exposed to in their public school? Do you have a desire to correct the wrongdoings? Fighting for justice can be hard in a world that constantly condemns others for being “judgmental” or “too strict.” More often than ever, schoolchildren are being exposed to pornographic and sexually violent images in the name of “sex education.” Lori Porter, Director of Parents’ Rights in Education, has compiled 12 bullet points on how to create change in a respectful way. Her mission is to protect and advocate for parents’ rights to guide the education of their children. How to Create Change in a Respectful way: Look at school district policy and find out what it says about providing a “safe learning environment” for students, supporting parent/child relationship, and student/teacher having inappropriate material/porn via phone, computer, etc. Make copies of these (for when speaking to admin, super, school board, etc.). Tell/show this to as many parents and guardians as possible in the school district! Go to superintendent (never alone). Have these pictures in hand. Videotape (preferably) or audio tape your meeting. (*Superintendent wants to keep his/her job; does not want scandal; does not want to taint his/her reputation…for any future job they may pursue). Expect them to justify how this “artwork” is appropriate for minors to be exposed to. If your concerns are dismissed, get as much publicity on this as possible – put pressure and the spotlight on the district. Any and every parent possible, should go into building and begin taking pictures of this evidence. They should go see administrator (never go alone)...

Sex Ed for the “Real World”

… Today, the age of innocence is changing. What was once a mother/daughter or father/son conversation involving much squirming, eye contact-avoiding, and skin-crawling is evolving into nothing more than an Internet search. Many sites are dedicated to informing teens of aspects of sexuality, and many teens take advantage of these media opportunities, so as to avoid the awkward conversation with their parents. One site boasts that it is “Sex ed for the real world! Inclusive, comprehensive, and smart sexuality information and help for teens and 20s.” While few would argue that teens should learn about the nature and purpose of sex, the content and manner in which it is presented is what is in question. The “top-ranked” online resource for teens and 20-somethings, Scarleteen, which has been praised by Planned Parenthood, UNICEF, and many other organizations, is horribly biased. While it says that it does not judge those who are not engaging in sex, seemingly every aspect of the site assumes that the reader is, and the content of the site of makes the American Pie conversations sound as innocent as a Disney movie. The question and answer section is particularly disturbing. A 15-year-old girl wrote in to inquire about masturbation, saying she had never tried it and perhaps wanted to give it a whirl, but thought it might hurt. The expert responded by saying that it is important to know one’s body and to talk to a counselor about her anxiety behind it, without even considering that anxiety could signal that masturbation itself is not healthy behavior. Likewise, the Planned Parenthood teen website addresses a similar question with...

Abstinence Does Help to Lower Teen Birth Rates

A new study released 29 May 2014, reported that America’s total fertility rate has hit a low that has not been experienced since 1986. At just 1.86 births per woman, America is now on the same course as many European nations. Researchers say that the main reason for the birth rate in America is the “striking drop in teen birth rates.” The new teen birthrate is a record low: 26.6 births per 1,000 women aged 15-19. This is a 10% drop from 2012 and a 57% drop since 1991. Abstinence really DOES work and our nation is beginning to take notice! [3 June 2014, abstinence.net, http://www.abstinence.net/uncategorized/abstinence-helps-lower-teen-birth-rates/ ;...

Summertime & Cool Dressing

Dressing modestly and fashionably in the summer can be a challenge, but it doesn’t have to be with the right clothes. Current summer fashions are filled with short skirts or shorts, bikinis, and tiny tank tops. Thankfully, we don’t have to compromise our standards to stay cool in the summertime. Here are some great tips on creating a modest summer wardrobe: Stock up on lightweight and breathable tops, which can be layered for lots of options. Try a maxi dress or skirt. These long skirts and dresses are comfortable, trendy, and widely available. Check the fabric type. Poplin, gauze, or cotton are great choices. Wear outfits with color! Light colored outfits reflect heat rather than absorb it, so you stay cooler. [22 Apr 14,...

Day of Purity – I Choose

The Day of Purity, Valentine’s Day each year, is a day when youth can make a public demonstration of their commitment to remain sexually pure in mind and actions. This day offers those who strive for sexual purity an opportunity to stand together in opposition to a culture of moral decline. Ways you can celebrate the Day of Purity: – Take a purity pledge – Wear a purity ring – Speak with others about purity and secondary virginity – Host a Purity Ball (Order the Purity Ball planner here — http://www.abstinence.net/store/?wpsc-product=purity-ball-planner ) – Attend a Purity Ball – Get great items from our store that celebrate your decision to be pure! http://www.abstinence.net/store/ RESOURCES Promoting Purity in Mind & Action http://www.lc.org/dayofpurity/ The 1-2-3s of Planning for the Day of Purity http://www.lc.org/dayofpurity/index.cfm?PID=16217 I Choose...

Defending Our Children: How to RESPOND to Demands for Planned Parenthood Classroom Sex Education

American Life League’s Stop Planned Parenthood International has developed a new resource to give parents who find themselves in the trenches and in need of help articulating arguments before school boards. This is another handy tool to fight Planned Parenthood and its comprehensive sex education programs. With Obamacare’s Office of Adolescent Health now super funding Planned Parenthood sex education, our children are experiencing the biggest threat ever as the abortion giant partners with universities and community organizations in multi-million dollar grants to implement its perverse, repugnant, dangerous sex education. Though Planned Parenthood touts sex education as a right, when it comes down to implementing its comprehensive sex education (CSE) in schools, Planned Parenthood never mentions sexual rights. Instead, it always relies on the argument that its sex education is necessary to reduce a high teen pregnancy rate (TPR). And no matter what the actual TPR is in the area, it is always portrayed as being too high. This is the argument parents find themselves up against time and time again when fighting Planned Parenthood sex education in the schools. When parents are actually able to get hold of the curriculum and show how repugnant it is, they are often met with demands from the school board to give them alternative programs. Here are some responses to arguments that parents often encounter when opposing Planned Parenthood sex education. The argument: The teen pregnancy rate is very high in this area, and Planned Parenthood comprehensive sex education is needed to reduce the teen pregnancy rate. The response: The teen pregnancy rate and teen birth rate have currently reached all-time lows. According...

May is Teen Pregnancy Awareness Month: What Can Each of Us Do?

According to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, nearly 3 in 10 girls will become pregnant before the age of 20. In 2012, 305,388 teens (ages 15-19) gave birth. About 18% of women obtaining abortions are teenagers (i.e. about 200,000) [http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_induced_abortion.html]. Due to these high numbers, many people are rightly concerned about the need for education and resources for these young women. How do we prevent teen pregnancy from happening in the first place? How do we teach teens to be responsible in their relationships so that they may make healthy decisions (for their bodies and their hearts)? How do we provide resources that will support a teen in her decision to choose life for her child? May is Teen Pregnancy Awareness Month. In May, students are encouraged to get involved in efforts to educate their peers. We encourage you to focus on abstinence education and to teach your peers the importance of mutual respect in relationships. Here are a few ideas you can do to raise awareness in your community – even beyond May: Talk to your younger family members about their relationships. Remember: This doesn’t have to be an awkward conversation! They may prefer having this conversation with you than with another adult. Start by asking, “How are you and ____ doing?” and let the conversation flow from there. Encourage them to commit to respecting themselves and their girlfriend/boyfriend. Support them in their good decisions. Offer loving advice for those who may be involved in unhealthy decisions. *Last but not least, be a good role model for your younger siblings and cousins. Educate your...

Boundaries: The Forgotten Principles of Abstinence

Abstinence is a realistic goal. However, just like any other goal, to achieve it you’ve got to make a game plan. Abstinence doesn’t just happen, it happens because two people have made a plan and are taking the necessary steps toward achieving their goal. Ron Hutchcraft gives a practical game plan for couples who want to remain abstinent. In a society that shows sex to be as casual as a handshake, one must make an effort to start realizing how special and important just holding hands can be. Hutchcraft touches on a few very important, yet often overlooked, steps to remaining abstinent. Perhaps, one of the most overlooked principles by young adults, who profess to want to remain abstinent, is setting up boundaries as they initiate their dating relationship. Talking about boundaries and deciding upon mutually achievable goals may help save a dating relationship from getting too physical. Hutchcraft advises, although “…you want to be alone with your date…too much time alone can lead you to do things you’ll regret later. Your relationship will be a lot healthier if you spend time with each other’s families and friends.” Also, individuals must learn to re-sensitize physical contact and displays of affection. Find 10 good ways to practice purity — http://www.christianitytoday.com/iyf/hottopics/sexabstinence/10-ways-to-practice-purity.html?start=1 Abstinence is as practical as any other goal if you set the right guidelines in place to help you achieve it. Practicing abstinence is like being an Olympic Gold Medalist, hard work, but well worth it in the end. [28 January 2014, http://www.abstinence.net/our-blog/abstinence-posts/boundaries-the-forgotten-principles-of-abstinence/ ]  ...

How To Get RISK ELIMINATION Education In Our Schools (2012)

How To Get RISK ELIMINATION EDUCATION In Our Schools 1.Start at the Classroom Level to Get in the School 2. Start with one Grade and do this Very Well     Start with 8th Grade Classes — meet with Physical Education (PE) teachers to get approval     these classes are normally gender-separated which makes this an acceptable venue     two well-trained instructors will be needed, one for each gender Give the PE teacher the booklet of the program — You are Unique — which teaches values and the uniqueness of each person School curricula also require teaching about HIV/ STDs/ risks; this program teaches these things, and also the ways to make choices, avoidance skills, and how to build healthy relationships In Alabama, 11% of people experience violence in dating relationships. This program will provide help in avoiding violence by knowing the 'red flags' to watch for before actually dating people. 3. Practice by teaching ADULT Sunday School classes in your area. This will help the adults — the parents — learn what is in the program and it provides good practice for the instructors. This is very beneficial to get the support of the parents and community leaders for the Risk Elimination program. 4. Qualify your Instructors To show the dedication and motivation of your instructors, they need to pay the cost to have a criminal background check done — ABI/FBI costs $51.40 www.cogentid.com/alabama They register online as a "substitute" teacher, pay online, and then go to get finger printed for the Alabama Dept. of Education 5. Instructors Sign a Code of Conduct 6. Give Students PRE and POST...

10 Steps to Developing a Life-Long Committed Relationship

DEALING WITH SIMILARITIES The first four steps deal with similarities between the man and woman. This is the first phase where no imperfections are seen in the other. 1. Meet; flash of interest; initial communication. 2. Meet again; he calls, talk a bit more, agree to go out. 3. Begin the process of becoming friends — sharing activities (sports, shows, etc.) (NOT sharing bodies!) 4. Begin meeting each other's friends and family. DEALING WITH DIFFERENCES This is the time in the relationship where differences arise. Differences in interests, in perceptions, in styles of communication, and in goals. It is also a time where weaknesses become more apparent. The person no longer is "perfect" and flaws are noted. If these weaknesses and flaws are issues that are not negotiable (the person is not willing to change), then this is the time when a decision is made whether to proceed into the next stage. 5. Explore each other's common and different interests.     He likes jazz; she likes classical music. He is interested in sports; she is not, but     is willing to learn more about them to understand his interest. 6. Becoming aware of, and beginning to work through, each other's weaknesses        and differences on important issues.    He procrastinates; she is late to everything. He is content to hold a mediocre level job and doesn't care about saving money; she is a perfectionist and is already planning for her financial future. He doesn't want children; she does. 7. Exploring life goals; taking increasing amounts of time together to discuss who each of you are, where you are...

Experiences of an Abstinence Instructor: Students Exchange Paraphernalia for Chastity

Students Exchange Paraphernalia for their Commitment to Chastity In this day and age, our young people are absolutely inundated with sexual temptations. The movies and internet are full of sexual images, ideas, and innuendos; musicians include sexually implicit lyrics; primetime tv shows portray promiscuous lifestyles as the norm; and even our government leaders have been exposed as leading immoral lives. It's little wonder that our teenagers are finding it almost impossible to stay pure and have chaste relationships… Jason Evert, with his fresh and honest approach to chastity, has proven time and again that he is able to connect with modern teens. As one girl put it, "I've never had anyone say anything like that to me about how valuable chastity is. I've always had the 'don't have sex, you'll die' talk. Never has anyone put it in such an awesome perspective." For over 6 years, Evert has spoken to students about the physical and spiritual importance of leading a chaste life. His talks have such an impact on his audiences that he is always swarmed by students afterwards. They are anxious to share with him how his talk has changed their lives and how they have found the strength to face their faults and leave their former way of life. Often these students wait for hours after the talk, just to give Evert a few words of gratitude and share with him their past history. A New Development Lately, there has been a new development in these post-presentation meetings. This year, along with spoken words of gratitude, the students have also started giving Evert tangible signs of their...

Parents Speak Up! Campaign & 4parents.gov

Speaking to Kids 'Early and Often' The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has unveiled its "Parents Speak Up" national campaign to help parents talk with youth about waiting until marriage to have sex. In addition to public service announcements (click below for "Talk to Me"), the campaign encourages grassroots involvement and offers a web site to better equip parents with age-appropriate information and communication skills. "The 'Parents Speak Up' campaign was developed based on research that indicates youth look to their parents for guidance when it come to making decisions about sex," said Dan Schneider, HHS acting assistant secretary for children and families. "When families encourage open communication, and teens live in an environment where values are clearly expressed, they are more likely to follow those values." Studies show that nearly nine of 10 teens say it would be easier for them to avoid sexual activity if they have more, and more open, conversations with their parents. It's critical to address with youth the issue of waiting until marriage for sex and, to be effective, this message must be broached "early and often."   "Early" in order to reach your children before they are bombarded with contrary ideas from the culture. "Often" to reinforce the unwavering message you want your child to receive, to affirm expectations, and to keep the lines of communication open. FRC strongly endorses this new HHS campaign. Additional Resources 4Parents.gov: Talking to Your Pre-Teen or Teen About Waiting http://www.4parents.gov/talkingtoteen/index.html   PARENTS SPEAK UP While you've probably heard a great deal about the Mathematica study that "proves" that abstinence programs don't work (never mind...

Teaching Abstinence "Sound Bytes"

Sometimes it helps to have SOUND BYTES for Abstinence Education — teens like these jingles!  You can use WordArt with these phrases and make your own (or let the students make) posters & flyers. Abstinence — It makes HEALTHY SENSE… Avoid the Pain…ABSTAIN! Free Love costs Too Much… The Gift you give Only Once: Virginity Do the Smart Thing…WAIT for the RING! Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder  Love is…Patient — REAL Love…WAITS Be PURE to be SURE SELF-CONTROL, RESPONSIBILITY, & TRUST Build STRONG MARRIAGES Play now…pay Later You're Worth Waiting for! Love enough to WAIT for Wed Day! No, Nein, Non, Nyet Nyet is Russian for NO NO is a Love Word It's Never Too Late to Start Saying NO Abstinence WORKS! ABSTINENCE — Smart Choice of the THINKING GENERATION! The Healthy Choice of the THINKING GENERATION: Abstinence! The BEST Marriages Begin with…ABSTINENCE!  Abstinence WORKS! Stay SMART – Don't Start! CHASED – but CHASTE TRUE LOVE…is willing to WAIT for the "I DO" Be ROMANTIC…Learn to love with WORDS, not sex Ask not what her body can do you you…Ask what you can do for her inner most being, to show her respect & esteem Be SPECIAL –> Be VIRGIN Secondary Virginity <—> A NEW BEGINNING [Goodges, from Womanity] Chastity — because YOU are WORTH the WAIT For Your FUTURE…Choose ABSTINENCE NOW! Risk-FREE…Worry-FREE — Abstinence…THE SMART CHOICE For Your Future SPOUSE — Choose Abstinence NOW! SET the Limits — Don't PUSH the Limits… Say "YES" to Your FUTURE…Abstinence Because [some from Teen-Aid and...

Teen Clothing / Teen Creed / Maturity Defined

Clothing These are general suggestions for women AND for men. Try to AVOID: — tank tops — all tight-fitting clothing (pants, jeans, sweaters, shorts) and form-fitting fabrics that may reveal rather than conceal the figure of the wearer, or emphasize particular parts of the body — any flesh colored or transparent clothing, or clothing with holes in inappropriate places — shorts, skirts, and dresses much above the knees — any and all short skirts and low-cut dresses — clothing that exposes the belly button, midriff, and/or top of hips Keep ALL your clothing ALL the way on ALL the time "Dear Abby: you once gave a definition for "maturity" before a high school audience in St. Louis – what was it? Loren D. Dear Loren:                     To be able to stick with a job until it's finished;                     to do one's job without being supervised;                     to be able to carry money without spending it; and                     to be able to bear an injustice without wanting to get even." Teen Creed Don't let your parents down; they brought you up. Be humble enough to obey, You may give orders someday. Choose companions with care; You become what they are. Guard your thoughts; what you think, you are. Choose only a date Who would make a good mate. Be master of your habits Or they will master you. Don't show off when you drive. Drive with safety and arrive. Don't let the crowd pressure you: Stand for something or you'll fall for anything. Abstinence Until Marriage The SMART CHOICE...