Responses – Advocacy / Dating / Instruction & Teaching Abstinence

Abstinence Education: Myths & the Truth

Abstinence education advocates believe the healthiest choice for a non-married youth is to remain sexually abstinent. Presenting the highest health standard remains the goal of any public school health education; abstinence education is no exception. Parents, not state or school administrators, have the right to determine if their teen is in need of additional medical information and services. Myth: Abstinence education is instruction to “just say ‘no.’” Truth: • Abstinence education is a primary prevention model designed to assist unmarried youth from becoming sexually active. • Abstinence programs teach and equip students on diverse topics. These include relationship skills, STDs, HIV, refusal skills, body image issues, emotional bonding, differences between men and women, condom effectiveness, teen pregnancy, and the benefits of marriage. • The benefits of remaining sexually abstinent until marriage are well established. Likewise, the physical, mental and emotional consequences resulting from sexual activity outside of a life-long relationship are not disputed. The education community is aware of these benefits and consequences; presenting them is much more than saying “no.”   Myth: Condom-based education (also known as comprehensive sex education) plus abstinence education addresses all students’ needs. Truth: • In other areas of health education as well as abstinence, the highest health standard is communicated (i.e. alcohol, drugs, cigarette use, weapon carrying, etc.) The healthiest choice for school-age youth is to remain sexually abstinent. • Children need directive education – education that points them to a specific outcome. If sexuality education is taught in a condom – plus – abstinence format, the message is mixed and nondirective. Students are left confused as to the best health choice. •...

Ten Basic Responsibilities of Nonprofit Boards by Development

1. Determine the organization's mission and purpose. It is the board's responsibility to create and review a statement of mission and purpose that articulates the organization's goals, means, and primary constituents served. 2. Select the chief executive. Boards must reach consensus on the chief executive's responsibilities and undertake a careful search to find the most qualified individual for the position. 3. Provide proper financial oversight. The board must assist in developing the annual budget and ensuring that proper financial controls are in place. 4. Ensure adequate resources. One of the board's foremost responsibilities is to provide adequate resources for the organization to fulfill its mission. 5. Ensure legal and ethical integrity and maintain accountability. The board is ultimately responsible for ensuring adherence to legal standards and ethical norms. 6. Ensure effective organizational planning. Boards must actively participate in an overall planning process and assist in implementing and monitoring the plan's goals. 7. Recruit and orient new board members and assess board performance. All boards have a responsibility to articulate prerequisites for candidates, orient new members, and periodically and comprehensively evaluate its own performance. 8. Enhance the organization's public standing. The board should clearly articulate the organization's mission, accomplishments, and goals to the public and garner support from the community. 9. Determine, monitor, and strengthen the organization's programs and services. The board's responsibility is to determine which programs are consistent with the organization's mission and to monitor their effectiveness. 10. Support the chief executive and assess his or her performance. The board should ensure that the chief executive has the moral and professional support he or she needs to further...

Whose "Medically Accurate" Info Should We Use?

The Medical Institute offerS training in Medical Accuracy. Contact the Medical Institute at 512.328.6268 for information.   Project Reality Announces Online Training Project Reality is now offering online courses for the Navigator teacher training curriculum. This curriculum is used in grades 8 through 12. Contact Project Reality to find out about participating in this World Class Training: Project Reality's Florida office 239.659.1095.   Perhaps you have heard the media pushing the line that all sex education – including abstinence education programs – must provide "medically accurate" information in the classroom presentations. Certainly, this is a noble concept, and very necessary. However, who provides this "medically accurate" information? The anti-abstinence "safe sex" promoters say that they, and only they, have "medically accurate" information which must be provided to our children. Their information promotes the use of condoms (including how to put them on), chemical contraceptives, and abortion, while promoting all types of "outercourse", including mutual masturbation. They also promote the morning after pill (emergency contraception) and fight legal battles against parental notification/consent for abortion among minors. Abstinence until marriage educators on the other hand, have researched the CDC, NIH, and other federal agencies and well-respected statisticians to collect the most up-to-date, "medically accurate" information available, and it supports the teaching of abstinence until marriage to our children. Abstinence educators are concerned about the life-long physical and emotional health of young people, which is greatly compromised by non-marital sexual activity. Of course, anti-abstinence "safe sex" promoters such as Planned Parenthood, SIECUS, Advocates for Youth, and other such groups, including condom and contraceptive manufacturers, recognize that abstinence until marriage would put them out of...

Friendship in the 21st Century

Abstinence is saying yes to the rest of your life. Friendship development is a skill desperately needed by teenagers today. Teen's today stand in front of many challenges and one of them is who can I trust and build a relationship with. When this quesstion is answered success is one step closer to becoming reality. All of us want and need friendships. Early friends teach us many needed skills for future relationships. For example, we learn to share, to understand someone else's feelings, to communicate and to practice making and keeping friendships. As we grow older, our relationships develop and deepen. Genuine Friendship Can you spot a real friend? Much has been written on the qualities of true friendship, and if we look at a wide selection of writings, basic signs of friendship will surface time and time again: Friendship takes time. Friendship evolves as two people make time for one another to share activities, plans, and interests. Acquaintances, or people to whom you know only well enough to say "hi", certainly are not true friends; but this group can be considered the pool from which we can make, with time, close and genuine friends. True friends show kindness toward each other. True friends care about what is really best for each other and will have the courage to speak up if a friend is doing something that could be harmful to himself and/or others. Genuine friendship is built on loyalty and trust. When you are having problems, a true friend will stand by you and won't "tell the world" about what you are going through. In a real...

The Purity Ball

“My Purity Ball experience was one of the most memorable in my life. While I am a little older than the average attendee, the fact that my father loves me enough to take me to such a powerful event, and that he would pledge to be a leader and role model for purity in my life still spoke volumes. The person I am becoming as I grow into adulthood is a direct reflection of the people my parents are. This clearly demonstrated to me that my father is a man of integrity, and I should hold that value as well.” – 2005...

Getting Abstinence Education into Your Schools / Winning the Debate

The Medical Institute is offering training in Medical Accuracy in 2008. Contact the Medical Institute at 512.328.6268 for information. Project Reality Announces Online Training in 2008 Project Reality is now offering online courses for the Navigator teacher training curriculum. This curriculum is used in grades 8 through 12. Contact Project Reality to find out about participating in this World Class Training: Project Reality's Florida office 239.659.1095.     6 Steps to Help Parents Get Abstinence Education  into Your Schools   1. START SMALL. "When you go to pick up a report card, bring with you a sample of an excellent curriculum that has worked," suggests a Chicago mom. "Then offer to bring a speaker in just one class."   2. USE MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS. Doctors and nurses have an easier time getting into schools because of their scientific credibility and real-life experiences.   3. FORM A COALITION. "Don't be the only voice," says Libby Macke of Project Reality, a federally funded abstinence program in Illinois. "Because it is too easy for [the school] to say 'no' to one 'crazy' parent." 4. LEARN THE LAW. "When [school administrators] see you know the law," says a FL mom, "they don't want the attention that they aren't doing what they are supposed to be doing."   5. OFFER FREE RESOURCES. "That's the best selling point," says Project Reality, "when you can offer a positive choice to schools at no extra cost."   6. TALK TO LEGISLATORS. Keep lawmakers up to date on recent studies showing abstinence works – and send them letters of appreciation from schools in their own district using abstinence education, notes...

Real Men & A Better Future: Abstinence Is For Lovers! © Visual Power Point

For Men Only: How Your Character and Your Relationships Will Affect Civilization     for Generations to Come Freedom!!     A Power Point presentation which can be used with the Abstinence Is For Lovers! © Curriculum directed specifically to boys and young men to help them understand the power and the duty they have to develop high moral standards. Civilization depends upon the Character of Real Men, the strong and secure relationships they build in their families, and the way that men protect their families, their communities, and their nations. (Your computer must have Power Point software...

Power Point: Implications of the Virginity Pledge on Teens

This is a Power Point presentation for parents and teachers. The purpose of this presentation is to show the value of the Virginity Pledge. When teens learn about sexual abstinence, and then make the decision to sign a pledge card to remain sexually abstinent for a certain period of time, or until they marry, it has a significant effect on delaying the age at which they experience sexual debut. Studies have verified this effect. Implications of the Virginity Pledge on Teens – Click...

Power Point: Abstinence Education Components for Success

This is a Power Point presentation for use with parents and teachers. It is designed to show the components needed in order to provide successful training for youth so as to direct them toward sexual abstinence until marriage. Abstinence provides our youth with the complete Elimination of Risky Behavior to ensure their greatest chances for a healthy Lifetime. Abstinence Education Components for Success…Click here. (Your computer must have Power Point...

Dating Strategies

Using Strategy is a great technique to sharpen your mind for victory. Strategy is necessary when playing chess, soccer, or any game of challenge. And so it is as you enter the challenging game of dating! Here are some basic points to help you get off to a good start and to keep you in the game!! Don’t feel pressured to date. Hanging out with friends can be great fun! Date and hang our with like-minded people. Look for friends, not serious relationships. Avoid steady boyfriends/girlfriends. Always know the person you go out with! Have boundaries and stick with them.   Have planned activities and stick with them. Dress attractively, not seductively. Keep your clothes on, all the way and all the time. Never lie down with your dates. Stay out of the opposite sex bed room. Stay in groups. Don’t stay in a house without adult supervision. Set a reasonable curfew for yourself, if your parents haven’t already. Avoid movies with strong sexual content. Make sure your parents meet everyone you date. Invite your parents to join you on your dates — OK, occasionally! Always let your parents know where you are going. Avoid being alone with your date. Never use drugs or alcohol. Leave parties where drugs and alcohol are being used. Date people your own age, or near your age.       Never try to “prove your love” with physical involvement.                  (Do the Right Thing – Wait for the Ring!) If you have made past mistakes, forgive yourself. Be proud of your stand for sexual abstinence. [from “Aim for Success with the A-Team”, Aim for...

Abstinence Club Activity Ideas for Students and Sponsors

[excerpted from “Aim for Success with the A-Team”, Aim for Success] Morning Announcement 30- & 60-second skits – Have students write short “skits” that 2-3 students perform, regarding “Did You Know” items about STDs, AIDS, and the benefits of abstinence. Newspaper Articles – Students can write informative, researched articles, and letters to the editor, for the school or local newspapers. These articles can expound on the medical realities of STDs & AIDS, and on the importance of strong character traits and abstinence. Find an Accountability Partner – Encourage students to find an adult they look up to, respect, and can talk to [a parent, relative, neighbor, church or community leader] about their dreams and goals, and about their commitment to strong character and sexual abstinence. This adult should be one who will encourage the student to set short and long-term goals, and who will make sure the goals are met. Design or Select a Symbol – Have students select a piece of jewelry (ring, necklace, plastic bracelet, etc.) which they can all wear as an outward sign of their commitment to sexual abstinence. Sign a Commitment Card – Each year, students should have the opportunity to sign a one-year pledge to sexual abstinence until marriage. Results from the AddHealth national gov’t study showed that students who sign virginity pledge cards are less likely to become sexually active (Journal of American Medical Assoc. JAMA, 10Sept97, and many recent studies). Be Prepared – Having sexual thoughts and desires is normal and natural. No one should feel guilty about these desires; however, gaining control over these thoughts and desires is the KEY...

Teen Cafe: Modesty & Style – An Oxymoron?

Every summer NextWave receives questions from young adults relating to modesty and fashion issues. When the summer heat and the fashion beat turn up the temperature in clothing styles, many young people are left frustrated and confused as to how to build a stylish summer wardrobe without compromising modesty.   We especially receive a lot of questions from young women, many of whom have given up hope that finding modest yet stylish clothes is possible.   Here are just a few of the comments regarding clothing that we received this summer: “Do you have any suggestions for modesty during the summer? I live in Southern California, where it gets really hot during the summer. Shorts are short, and tanks are cool. What should I wear? – Jessica”   “I live in a small town where there are about three clothes stores that consist of Walmart, Target, and Khols. It is literally three hours to the nearest mall. The clothes that are modest are either too big for me or look like an 80's flash back. My closet is screaming for help and begging for new clothes. But I just don’t know where to start. What should I do? – Samantha”   “I have gotten to the point that I hate shopping… I can shop for HOURS and try on MILLIONS of outfits, and only go home with a handful. Too low, too short, too tight…these are only the beginnings to the problems with decent looking clothes today! And if decency is not a problem…style is! Because if it fits…it looks like old lady stuff! – Mary”   Clearly, [many]...

A Neo-Feminist's View of Abstinence (2005)

I don't want to have sex. Clarification: I do want to have sex, but only with my husband. And I don't have one of those yet (a Husband, I mean). No, I am not an ultraconservative who is cohabitating with a houseful of cats and TiVo'ing Lifetime movies. I'm a middle-of-the-road 32-year-old who likes tattoos and loud music. And yes, I am cute (I've been told by friends and strangers alike). So you can put aside the notion that I'm bitter about not being offered the chance to have sex.   What I am is a neo-feminist.   Definition: "One who respects her body so much that she won't allow it to be used as someone's playground." Handsome Man at a Bar, you think I'm cute? Thanks. Do you appreciate me or the idea of having sex with me? Because your thinking has likely been influenced by the cavortings of Samantha and Co. in the "city" or the women in most rap videos. I am not those women. If you want a workout, go get a one-day pass at Bally. It's free. Members of the "Sex is Natural and Fun and If It Makes You Happy, It Can't Be That Bad" club want sex so badly that they willingly and repeatedly live out the following scenario: Things go "great" for a month or two. Sex quickly becomes a part of your interactions. Maybe he even meets your parents. And then, well, things just change. He dumps you or you dump him.   Regardless of why the relationship died, you are now one of many women whom he could point...

For Girls Only: Abstinence Is For Lovers! © Visual Power Point Presentation

  UNDER CONSTRUCTION! Click here for a Power Point Presentation which can be used with the Abstinence Is For Lovers! © Curriculum directed specifically to girls and young women to help them understand the power and the duty they hold by demanding high moral standards. Civilization depends upon the high standards of women. The Standards Women set are the standards Men live by, work by, and act by. Behind every successful man is a Woman!     (Your computer must have Power Point...

Dressing for Class? Express Your Dignity!

What does it mean to be "Classy"? It does not mean exposing various parts of your body skin, nor does it mean wearing skin tight clothing. It does mean to be distinguished, to hold a certain high rank or status based on character, constituting the best role model or authority. When buying clothes and dressing to express your dignity as a classy woman: 1. Remember that first impressions are important. People who never get to speak to you or listen to you can still see you. How do you want them to remember you? 2. Remember that you live in many different positions, even if you are not in yoga class! You sit, stand, lean over, climb up stairs with people behind you, and sit at tables facing speakers, bosses or teachers. How do your clothes or lack of clothes appear to the people that are next to you, above you and below you in all your daily positions? 3. Too loose blouses and shirts can be as immodest as tight ones. If the neckline drops from your body when you bend over, guess what everyone can see? The body parts that your blouse was designed to cover! If the armpit is too loose, think about the view of the guy standing next to you – right to the inside! 4. Blouses that button sometimes have see through gaps between the buttons, so consider if there is a side view to the inside, this may not be the blouse to buy or wear. Or is it tight and comes unbuttoned so you need to wear a full slip or tank...

Risk ELIMINATION Education & Strategies

The Medical Institute is offering training in Medical Accuracy in 2008. Contact the Medical Institute at 512.328.6268 for information.   Project Reality Announces Online Training in 2008 Project Reality is now offering online courses for the Navigator teacher training curriculum. This curriculum is used in grades 8 through 12. Contact Project Reality to find out about participating in this World Class Training: Project Reality's Florida office 239.659.1095.     A Vital Part of Changing Young Lives This is the summary of a WAITS Abstinence Training session by Gary Brown of Education Connection. Gary is a Risk Elimination educator in Georgia. Youth Development Generally, 80-87% of the students of any given student class are movable and open to listen to a presentation about abstinence & chastity. About 13% of the students are not favorable. They may be “nice”, but they don’t agree with abstinence and will become, or remain, sexually active. Character, Morals, and Values Abstinence needs to be added to the list of character traits taught to our children: “Character is who we are when no one else is looking.” “No IV drugs, no sex till marriage – AIDS would be wiped out in one generation.” Gaylan Cole, M.D. [CDC epidemiologist] & George Smith, M.D. It costs about $30,000 – $50,000 per year for medication for one AIDS patient.  We need to get the message to kids that it’s very simple to avoid AIDS! AIDS is acquired – stay away from sexual activity –> avoid the risk –> avoid the disease…   Teen Sex Scene The average male sex partner is an adult, more than 3 years older than the girl. Actually, 70% of...

How To Talk to Your Child About Sex: The Sex Pyramid

As adults, we have a responsibility to pass along the lessons we have learned. A number of years ago, our neighbor’s 16-year-old daughter made the common assumption that her boyfriend was serious about her and that the relationship was destined for marriage. She certainly was serious about him and thought that she loved him. When she got pregnant, and quickly discovered he was not going to marry her, she lamented: “I just wanted him to love me.” We listened in dismay to the raw pain as she repeated the phrase again and again, like a mantra. And, of course, adding insult to injury, the boy’s mother – not wanting her teenage son (and the family) to be saddled with the responsibilities of a wife and child – caustically suggested (in the pre-DNA era) that the child might not even be her son’s. Not a single element of this sad, tawdry story surprises any adult over 30. It is an old and totally predictable tale. Today, it bears repeating, though, because heartbroken responses like our young neighbor’s appear to surprise folks when the same thing happens in current circumstances, despite all the sex-ed in school and despite all the supposed sexual equality and freedom. Today’s teens talk breezily and brazenly about sexual matters. They claim that “sex is no big deal.” They have their own vocabulary to describe the cavalier intimacy. “Hooking up” . . . “scoring” – there seem to be plenty of convenient euphemisms for sexual experimentation. The latest lingo is a re-run: “fooling around.” It all sounds casual enough – blasé enough. But, somebody needs to ask,...

Wait Wear Clothing Advocates Abstinence (1/05)

Wait Wear, a clothing line advocating abstinence until marriage, is taking its products and its message to retail stores across the country. The line, targeted at youth, already gained nationwide attention during its launch two years ago. Featuring trendy designs and in-your-face messages about remaining abstinent until marriage, the clothing has struck a chord with youth and parents. www.waitwear.com [“Abstinence-Teaching Clothing Line Taking Its Message Nationwide” Abstinence Clearinghouse Press Release,...