Abstinence – What is it?

3 Tips for Teens: Remember Your True Worth

3 Tips for Teens: Remember Your True Worth Back to school.  A phrase that conjures up excitement, dread, nervousness, anticipation and the smell of sharpened pencils and clean white paper.  It’s time for the laid-back days of summer to end and the competitive routine of classes, lunches and team try-outs to resume. If you’ve attended Family Honor’s Real Love & Real Life program, you’ll remember learning about self esteem.  Self esteem is simply how you feel about yourself and it can go up or down depending on what’s happening to you that day.  A new school year can be a roller-coaster for your self-esteem as you meet new people, try new subjects and experience new disappointments. No matter how you feel about yourself, though, it’s important to remember that your true worth comes from God—not how other people treat you.  While self-esteem may go up or down depending on how you did on a math test or if your lab partner is cute, your true worth doesn’t change with your feelings.  It comes from being created, loved and known by God. As you prepare for the beginning of school by brushing up on your summer reading, re-stocking your notebook and cleaning out your book bag, think about what affects your self-esteem and how you can remind yourself of your true worth.  Need some ideas?  Try these: *    Make a point of having a meal with your family Sometimes our families can drive us crazy, but even on the worst day it is the best place to be.  We can get so caught up in the drama of school—worrying about...

A Rational Case for Abstinence

1. Pre-marital sexual activity of minors is illegal in most states. 2. Opportunities for career and talent education are not jeopardized. 3. There is time for adequate preparation for marriage and parenthood. 4. Sufficient time to develop emotional and physical maturity for successful adult responsibilities. 5. Important work and education skills to meet the demands of adult life can be learned. 6. There is greater spiritual (understanding of one's inner being) and emotional health when teens choose abstinence. 7. Better social adjustment and decision-making skills are acquired. 8. Self-esteem and the respect of others is maintained. 9. There is freedom from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs including HIV/AIDS, HPV, Herpes Simplex II, chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis, etc.), cancer, and other sex-related health problems, which affect health and livelihood, and from the emotional and financial stigma of an unmarried...

Knowing Is Caring

Here are some things you ought to know about yourself:   YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND UNIQUE – No other person created was, is or ever will be exactly like you   YOU ARE A SEXUAL BEING – Sexuality is a natural part of your life. From the moment you were conceived, you were either male or female. Now that you are older, you probably have some feelings about someone of the opposite sex. This is normal sexuality. How you deal with these feelings will have an impact on every other part of your life. Your maleness or femaleness is part of what makes you special. Recognize your special sexual qualities and characteristics which distinguish you from persons of the opposite sex. Feeling good about being a female or a male makes you feel better about everything else in your life.   SEXUAL FEELINGS ARE NORMAL. It's what you do with these feelings that will determine whether they affect you positively or negatively. Don't be conned into having sex outside marriage. You may ask "what if my sexual feelings get stronger…what if I meet someone I want to commit myself to?" Is birth control the best way to be "sexually responsible"? Isn't being sexually intimate a way of showing real love?   If you aren't married, you are Not Committed.   Trying to "play it safe" with certain birth control methods may cause a woman unnecessary physical damage and emotional anxiety.   Do you really trust someone who would allow you to risk your health or the possibility of pregnancy before marriage?   Intimate sex before marriage can risk your future happiness.  ...

Secondary Virginity / Sexual Integrity

The dangerous effects of Sexually Transmitted Diseases easily outweigh the momentary benefits of premarital sexual intercourse/ sexual contact.    Think you can't get an STD / STI?   Think again…    ANYbody can get STDs ANY Day of the Year!     As physicians, we encourage you to pause and seriously consider all the alternatives & consequences of your sexual involvement:   STDs for the rest of your life… Out-of-wedlock pregnancy can lead to ruined college/career plans for your future, or a future of poverty… Abortion is forever… Emotional stress and strain… Massive Broken Heart when the relationship ends… Rage / Thoughts of suicide… Regrets for the rest of your life… Worry that people in your future will "find out" about your past… If you are sexually involved outside marriage at this time, we urge you to consider Secondary Virginity.   Secondary (or Renewed) Virginity allows you to return to the state of sexual abstinence in order to guard your health and put your mind at ease.      An INTEGRATED LIFE brings Peace, Security and Confidence…   SEXUAL INTEGRITY leads to WHOLENESS in your Life!   Avoid the anxieties and fears associated with sexual involvement.  Say "No" now for Your Future!!   What will your partner think? If your partner does not accept your new commitment to your future, and only wants to continue using your body for his/her own pleasure, you should be relieved to see this one leave!   But you may find that your partner didn't really want to have sex, & was doing it because he/she thought that was what YOU wanted!   That's another problem...

Why Secondary Virginity?

If you are feeling… Fearful Lonely Used Embarrassed Guilty Angry Full of regret Rejected then read on… …These feelings may have come from sexual activity outside marriage. If so, you do not have to continue on this dead end path!   Secondary or Renewed Virginity allows you  to STOP   & TURN AROUND!!     Secondary Virginity  <=>  A NEW BEGINNING [Goodges, from Womanity]   Human beings have the ability to change their habits!   We need and seek order in our lives instead of chaos.     Chastity – because YOU are  WORTH the WAIT !! [Teen-Aid]   Date in Groups – Lots of Friends, Lots of Fun!...

Why Abstinence? Why Should I Control My Hormones?

Why Should I Control My Hormones? Because… No risks or side-effects of "the pill", "the shot", the IUD, or other contraceptives. No chance of getting a Sexually Transmitted Disease No chance of getting pregnant It's Honest: I can be a good role model for my friends and family I won’t resent doing something I really don’t want to do I won't have to worry that someone will find out what I did I’ll respect myself    1 million teenage girls get pregnant every year (averages to 20,000 per state) 3 million teens get an STD every year (averages to 60,000 per state) One of every 4 new cases of HIV is a teen — AIDS doesn’t care how old I am. Do I want to risk having full-blown AIDS for my 25th birthday? Some STDs stay forever; some STDs can kill.  I can deny the risks; but… I only have one future…       Less stress No worry of pregnancy No worry of STD infection (providing I’m also drug-free) Fewer things to disagree about Easier to stay emotionally and physically healthy Peace of mind I’ll know I’m loved for ME, not just for my body Better control over my life It’ll be less painful if we break up later It will be easier to tell my future spouse about my past So I'll have time …to learn about my feelings, and about me …to spend with all my friends, and make lots of new friends …to learn about relationships and how to show love without the complications of sex …to talk and develop fuller communication with my dates...

The Neglected Heart: Emotional Effects of Sex Outside Marriage

What's the BIG DEAL about Sex? Why does it MATTER if I have Sex, or not?      There Are Emotional Consequences of Premarital Sexual Involvement: Your sexuality is a huge part of who you are as a person. It is to be protected and safe-guarded for the good of your whole being, and only shared in a permanent, life-long, trusting, and committed monogamous relationship traditionally known as marriage. Otherwise, your whole being gets ripped and torn and you lose your identity as a unique person.    No two people are exactly alike. Each of us is a unique, one-of-a-kind personality. And while every person will respond differently to situations and experiences, there are still many negative psychological consequences that most people experience to some degree when they engage in premarital sexual involvement. Here are 10 negative psychological consequences that many people experience:   1. WORRY ABOUT PREGNANCY AND AIDS For many people, this is a major emotional stress. Teens are worried and distracted each month that they might be pregnant, or might have caused pregnancy. Girls often buy home pregnancy kits and have a great deal of anxiety in their day-to-day activities. It may be difficult to concentrate on schoolwork or sports.   2. REGRET AND SELF-RECRIMINATION "I get upset when I see my friends losing their virginity to some guy they've just met. Later, after the guy's dumped them, they come to me and say, 'I wish I hadn't done it.'" A ninth-grade girl who slept with eight boys in junior high says, 'I'm young, but I feel old.'" Girls are more likely to see sex as...

How Do I Say "NO"

It's such a great feeling to hold somenone's hand, get a big hug, and walk arm-in-arm.             But how do you feel when your date starts pushing to    "go all the way"? Do you feel uneasy, unsure? Good! Your inner being is telling you to stop. But, how can a person avoid sex when he/she is being pressured to have intercourse, or "outercourse"? The first step is to be committed to an Abstinent Lifestyle. See yourself as a person who is worthy of having a happy and healthy marriage in the future, full of love and joy, and perhaps a family,   because you ARE that person!     Develop and rely on the character traits of self-respect and respect for others. Then, make a decision that you will not have sex. Here are a number of things that may be helpful: Be convinced that the negative health consequences of premarital sexual activity are significant, which they are. Find a friend who has the same resolve about not having sex before marriage, as you do. Write out your decision about how you will handle sexual pressures and refer to it from time to time. Develop your self-esteem. Realize that having sex will not build the self-esteem you may be seeking. Becoming sexually involved and then breaking up, as is most often the case with unmarried individuals, actually can damage your self-esteem. Real self-esteem is built by self-discipline and by striving toward and achieving worthwhile goals. Practice assertiveness. Some people meekly surrender their independence when someone pressures them, but those who resist the pressure by asserting their commitment are respected....

"Saved" Sex

The ONLY 100% effective method against pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease is complete abstinence from all sexual activity until marriage…       Use Your Will – Not the Pill   Purity Protects!  Have a PASSION 4 Purity When asked why she took the "True Love Waits" pledge, Michelle Donachy told USA Today that she's choosing "to give up a moment's thrill for an eternity of rewards." And research confirms that she is likely to reap many rewards, including: Greater Sexual Satisfaction. A recent Family Research Council study found that the people most satisfied with their current sex life are married people who "strongly" believe sex outside of marriage is wrong. A Redbook magazine study during the mid-1970's, the 1993 Janus Report of Sexual Behavior, and a 1992 random-sample survey of Christianity Today readers, all concur. According to research summary by David Larson of the National Institute of Health Care Research, sexual responsiveness is significantly affected by the relational context in which lovemaking takes place. Part of the reason why monogamous married couples have an easier time achieving greater intimacy is because they enjoy greater sexual freedom: freedom from fears of comparison, rejections, abandonment, and disease, among others. An Enduring Marriage. A 1986 study published in the Journal of Marriage and the Family found that individuals who engage in sex before marriage are more likely to commit adultery and more likely to divorce that those who do not. Similarly, a 1992 study by two sociologists at Bowling Green University found that couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce than other couples. No Regrets. A 1994...

Committment Pledge (print, sign & post)

Here’s a simple Way to help you Abstain until you find your life-long Love and form that Permanent, Healthy, and Committed-to-each-other-in-Marriage Relationship… I have carefully considered all the consequences of premarital sexual activity and the gains of sexual abstinence. I choose abstinence until marriage as the best choice for me and for my future. I have made this decision because: I want to wait to have sex in a trust-filled marriage with my life-long spouse I am not ready to be a parent I do not want to risk getting a sexually transmitted disease, such as Herpes or HIV. I want to be 100% sure that I won’t get any STDs from sexual activity. I do not want the emotional or physical risks of casual or serial sex. I want to enjoy all of the positive, life-enhancing benefits that sexual abstinence until marriage has to offer. ____________________________Signature _________________Date True Love is Worth the Wait Be Pure to Be Sure Avoid the...

Commitment Pledge for Couples

Here is a simple Way to Help you and your date stick to Abstinence while you are dating. Just print out this commitment form, make the commitment, sign it, and keep it with you on all your dates! After carefully considering all the consequences of premarital sexual activity, we have decided that sexual abstinence until marriage is the best choice for us. We base this decision on the following: We want to wait to have sex in our trust-filled marriage with our one and only life-long spouse. We are not ready to be parents. We do not want to risk getting one or more sexually transmitted diseases, such as Herpes, HPV, or HIV. We want to be 100% sure that we will not get any STDs from sexual activity. We do not want to risk the emotional and physical dangers of premarital sexual activity. We want to enjoy all the positive, healthy benefits of sexual abstinence now and till we marry each other or others. _____________________________Signature ________Date _____________________________Signature ________Date True...

Go For "NO"!

    Go for “NO” to sex…for your future…think about it… NO is in KNOWING …who you are …what you stand for …how you choose to act…   SELF-RESPECT is… the ultimate contraceptive The percentage of high school students who have remained virgins rose from 45.6% in 1990 to 54.1% in 2001. It’s still rising… Abstinence: What’s It Worth??? Always safe Being in control Saving yourself Time to wait – no rush, no pressure Insured future Never sorry – no regrets! Enjoying life Not feeling/being used Character developed Experience inner satisfaction Abstinence is a… Life Saver!! [Human Life Resource Center, 2001]     WHY ELSE IS ABSTINENCE IMPORTANT? Try Some Financial Reasons: — Abstinence is a $17 billion commitment to good health. –A successful abstainer does not cost even $1 of the annual $12 billion AIDS health tax bill. –A successful abstainer does not cost even $1 of the $4 billion annual tax abortion expense. –A successful abstainer does not cost even $1 of the $1 billion annual unwanted pregnancy tax dollar outlay. — What a generous financial contribution successful abstainers make to the local, state and federal tax rolls. This contribution is worth recognition by every taxpayer. — Abstinence may not be everything, but it has financial, moral AND health advantages that stand alone. [Mobile Register, 03/03/02, 21Feb02]   Dr. Penny Hitchcock, head of the STD branch at the National Inst of Health (NIH) say that a sexually active person’s chance of getting an STD by age 24 is 1 in 3. “These kids are not promiscuous; they’re practicing serial monogamy. “A partner a year, let’s say. If...

Sex Sounds A Lot Like Love…But It’s Not.

“I want you.”doesn’t mean“I want the best for you.” “You’re my lover.”doesn’t mean“You’re my one and only life-time lover.” “You’re beautiful.”doesn’t mean“I love you for your inner beauty.” “I need you.”doesn’t mean“When you need me, I’ll be there for you.” “I’ll be careful.”doesn’t mean“I care about your feelings.” “It’s so great, I want it now.”doesn’t mean“You’re so great, I’ll wait for you.” “It feels good.”doesn’t mean“I want you to feel good about yourself later.” “Let’s make love.”doesn’t mean“I love you. I’ll commit to you my...

Components of Chastity

Chastity Components… Knowing how to live in a self-giving way Being FREE from any form of self-centered slavery Not being involved in selfish relationships with other people Making your personality consistent, mature, harmonious & peaceful Helping to develop true respect for your self, and… Making you capable of respecting others Including an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is training in true human FREEDOM Protect Your Inner...

What's the Difference?

Chastity and Abstinence are often used interchangeably these days. Actually…  Chastity  is a spiritual power, something deep within yourself. It is a lifestyle, a philosophy of life.   Abstinence  is a behavior used to achieve Chastity. Abstinence means the avoidance of certain substances and activities which can be detrimental, dangerous, or deadly to a person's...

ABSTINENCE MEANS…

A – affirms the power to create new life B – body respect S – sexual postponement until marriage T – teen lifestyle which trains for fidelity in marriage I – instant gratification delayed N – "No" to premarital sex – avoids health risks (physical, emotional, social) E – energy focused on goal achievement N – non-conformity to media and peer pressure C – confidence in value of self and others E – exercise self-control SEXUAL ABSTINENCE = RISK ELIMINATION THAT'S ...