Family Breakdown Issues

MYTH: ‘My Future Spouse Will Complete Me’

Loneliness can be one of the most difficult things we as humans can experience. For many singles, the feeling of loneliness can be a motivating factor in finding the perfect spouse. However, finding the perfect spouse can drive a person to give up a healthy relationship for fear there is a better person out there. The desire to find the perfect spouse is understandable. When entering a lifelong covenant one must assess the overwhelming joy and the inevitable sacrifices marriage brings. For most people, this is the first life-long decision they have ever made. In relationships how often do we guard our hearts too closely when the need to surrender to an almighty, trustworthy God is necessary. Strive to learn the motivation of your restless heart. Take the anxieties and worries that plague you to a grace-filled God who provides rest, peace and hope. Evaluate your expectations. The reality is there is no perfect person on the planet. Marriages require us to be sacrificing, honest, and willing to serve. Your spouse may complement you, but he (or she) will never complete you. That is Christ’s job. Check out these three components to a successful marriage: 1. Character Assessing the character of another person allows you to understand if you value the same things. There will always be something to disagree on; however, having similar commitments and a cohesive worldview is important. 2. Chemistry Chemistry is easily assessed and helps in understanding that two people are attracted to one another. Contrary to what culture teaches us, chemistry isn’t just about physical attraction. There is also emotional attraction. Infatuation stems from...

To Divorce-Proof Yourself, Don’t Have Premarital Sex: Report

Some say it’s good to have a lot of sex partners before marriage so you get used to trying people out and can find what you like. Others, like me, have said that’s crazy talk. If you get used to shopping around before marriage, you’re developing a bad habit of loving and leaving that will make you more likely to divorce once married. A new study provides more ammunition for the latter idea. The study, of women who married in the 2000s, purports to find a “counterintuitive” result: That both women with zero to one and with three to nine sex partners are less likely to divorce than ladies with two or more than ten partners. Therefore, it says, “the relationship between divorce and the number of sexual partners women have prior to marriage is not linear.” But take a look at the graph. If you learned elementary-school-level graph-reading skills, you will see that only one sex partner frequency — the spouse only – no sex partners before marriage — is associated with extremely low divorce rates five years into marriage: graph — http://thefederalist.com/2016/06/06/report-to-divorce-proof-yourself-dont-have-premarital-sex/ So what do we see here? That women who married in the 2000s were least likely to divorce if they had no sex partners before marriage, at a rate of approximately 6 percent. That’s almost divorce-proof. Even just one sex partner before marriage moved up a woman’s chances of divorce within five years of marriage to one in five chances, at a 20 percent rate. Even though there’s a small dip between two and ten sex partners before marriage, the divorce rate for every other...

Fatal Abusive Head Trauma Among Children Under 5 Years – USA, 1999–2014

In the United States, abusive head trauma (AHT) is one of the leading causes of maltreatment fatalities among infants and children, accounting for approximately one third of these deaths (1). Monitoring trends in AHT and evaluating prevention strategies have historically been difficult because of differences in AHT definitions used in research and surveillance. CDC’s case definition for AHT and data from the National Vital Statistics System were used to examine the trends in fatal AHT during 1999–2014 using Joinpoint trend analysis software. During this period, AHT resulted in nearly 2,250 deaths among U.S. resident children aged <5 years. Whereas rates were relatively stable during 1999–2009, there was a statistically significant average annual decline of 13.0% in fatal AHT rates during 2009–2014. The fatal AHT rates in 2013 and 2014 (0.41 and 0.43 per 100,000 children aged <5 years, respectively) were the lowest in the 16-year study period. Although this decline in AHT deaths is encouraging, more can be done to prevent AHT, including family-based interventions and policies that create safe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments for children… [27 May 2016, CDC MMWR Weekly, http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/65/wr/mm6520a1.htm?s_cid=mm6520a1_e...

Cohabitation & Future Marital Stability

In the 1960s only about 8% of marriages were preceded with cohabitation. Today, over 50% of marriages are preceded by a period of cohabitation. Many couples gradually slide into this decision because they do not know the truth about living together before marriage. Rather, they believe a myriad of myths. Myth #1: They believe cohabitation will save them money in the long run. When in reality, the average income for cohabitating couples is significantly lower than married couples. Myth #2: They believe that they will have better sex if they “test it out” before marriage. However, individuals who have sex before marriage report lower levels of sexual satisfaction than those who abstained until marriage. Myth #3: They believe getting used to living together beforehand is a guarantee for a good marriage. Factually speaking, 40% of live-in couples never even get married. And the sad reality is that people who live together before marrying divorce at about twice the rate of couples who do not. The negative consequences of cohabitation are real and evident and the “positives” are nothing more than myths. [19 Nov 2015, Abstinence Clearinghouse email newsletter,...

Women Are More Unhappy, Despite 40 Years of Feminism

A study titled “The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness” found that women were less happy even after forty years of feminism. Women have had more opportunities than ever before. They have been liberated from their roles as housewives and yet – they have a lower sense of well-being and life satisfaction. This held true regardless of whether the women were married or not, or had children. The earning power of women has soared, they are doing better than men in education and they are more in control of when to start a family… but still unhappy? Ern Pizzey, founder of the charity Refuge, added “The hard-won freedom of choice has imprisoned women. I just see an exhausted generation trying to do it all.” [19 Nov 2015, Abstinence Clearinghouse email newsletter,...

Adolescents Who Have had 4 or More Sexual Partners, by Family Structure and Religious Participation

New research has shown that the probability of adolescents (ages 13-19) having four or more sexual partners within a year is less likely among those who were raised in “intact families that attended religious services weekly or more.” The data was derived from a study where participants were asked to respond to the question, “Since January 1, with how many people in total have you had a sexual relationship?” as well as questions regarding their attendance to religious services. In total, the study found that adolescents were least likely to have four or more sexual partners in the last year when they were raised in intact (i.e. married parents) families who attended religious services once or more per week — 4.4%. The study found that 5.6% of teens in intact families with no regular religious services had four or more sexual partners in the last year, while 11.3% of teens in non-intact (divorced, cohabiting, single parent) families who attended religious services regularly, and 14.0% of teens in non-intact families who did not attend religious services, responded that they had four or more sexual partners in the last year. To read more about the Marriage & Religion Research Institute study and it’s finding, you can check it out at  http://marri.us/get.cfm?i=MA15H01 Family Structure: Adolescents were least likely to have had four or more sexual partners in the past year when raised in intact married families (5.9%). Teens raised in married step-families were more likely to have had four or more sexual partners (9.9%), as were those in intact cohabiting families (11.7%), single-divorced-parent families (11.9%), and cohabiting step-families (15.8%). Comparatively, adolescents raised...

The Natural Family and The Rebirth of Society

World Congress on Families Asks Physicians for Help The World Congress on Families, which met last week in Warsaw, Poland, announced in its closing declaration that the various threats to the family in Europe are creating a “demographic winter” that can only be healed by the protection and nurturing of the natural family. Love; faithfulness; gift of self as opposed to hedonism; dedication to divine truth in the face of relativism; love for, instead of fear of children; and reverence for human life in the face of discrimination and “extermination of the weakest” are listed by the Congress as among the gifts of the natural family. Healthy natural families are the “natural essence as a community of love and life,” that will bring about the “rebirth of the society.” With plummeting birth rates and aging populations, the Congress said that Europe is facing a “demographic winter”. The fourth World Congress on Families was organized by the Howard Centre for Family, Religion and Society and is starting to be recognized as the leading international congress opposing the “culture of death”. Attendees heard from Margarita Zavala Gomez Del Campo, First Lady of Mexico, who addressed the Congress by letter, writing, “When you protect the family, you are protecting society and the nation.” The First Lady continued, “The topic of protecting the family transcends all because it is in family where we learn the fundamental moral values needed in today’s world – solidarity, respect, responsibility, love and forgiveness.” The Chairman of the US Christian Film and Television Commission, Dr. Ted Baehr spoke at the Congress warning that the American movie and TV...

CDC Overlooks Abortion Connection In Report on Women Drinking During Pregnancy (2002, 2004, 1/05; Update 2015)

Update: A recent survey showed the prevalence of binge drinking among non-married pregnant women was 4.6 times the prevalence among married pregnant women. [Cheryl H. Tan, MPH; Clark H. Denny, PhD, Nancy E. Cheal, PhD, et al, “Alcohol Use and Binge Drinking Among Women of Childbearing Age – United States, 2011 – 2013,” MMWR September 25,2015/64(37);1042-1046)  http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm6437a3.htm?s_cid=mm6437a3_e ]   A study by the Centers for Disease Control found that 10 percent of pregnant American women consume alcohol during pregnancy, and that two percent of pregnant women drink frequently or engage in “binge drinking” (defined as consuming five or more alcoholic drinks on one occasion). The CDC analyzed data for more than 64,000 women of childbearing age who were surveyed by the 2002 Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System (BRFSS), a random telephone survey. CDC researchers warned that women who are pregnant or might become pregnant should avoid consuming alcohol. The use of alcohol during pregnancy can cause serious health problems both for mothers and their unborn child, including fetal alcohol syndrom, birth defects, low-birth weight, and death. However, one factor the CDC researchers failed to take into account in their analysis was the high instance of substance abuse among pregnant women with a history of abortion. According to an Elliot Institute study published in the American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology in 2004, among women who carry a pregnancy to term for the first time, women who had a history of abortion were five times more likely to use illicit drugs and twice as likely to consume alcohol during pregnancy compared to women who had not had a previous abortion....