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I found out I was pregnant on my 18th birthday.
Pregnant by a guy I didn't
care about and he didn't care about me.
We were just having "harmless fun".
To
make matters worse I found out I had HPV as well!
I had no idea how to tell my
parents. My mom found out when I was too dizzy to walk down the stairs and she
asked me straight up and I told her I was pregnant. She then told my Dad who
immediately said "well she's going to have an abortion".
I realized then I
wanted to give it up for adoption and thought I could see it through. My mom
supported me in this and we went and met with an agency who told me to come back
in a few months and we could start looking at profiles of potential parents. I
really wanted to do it right there and then (I understand why that's not a good
idea now though).
I won't even start at how unsupportive the birth father was.
My life was simplified, I would go to work and then come home and sleep. That
was all I really had energy for.
Then one night I decided to go out with a friend to go dancing - no
drinking though I had a baby to think about. I met this guy who seemed nice, we
went on a couple of dates and I really started to like him. He was actually
nice to me and treated me with respect!
I realized then that I couldn't keep
dating him and have this baby - there was no way he would stick around through
it all! So I called my doctor and asked if it was too late to change my mind -
she told me I could get an abortion in two days time. I can't recall ever
getting in to see any other kind of specialist that quickly...
I got to the abortion center
with my Mom who was supportive of any decision I made
(at 18 when you're pregnant you're not capable of making any decisions
in my
opinion, just stick to what you know is right).
There were a lot of young
girls
there who seemed like they had been in before at least once, it felt
horrible!
I went in and because of my HPV I couldn't have the regular procedure
done - too
painful. So they made me wait in day surgery until there was an
available
operating room. This took over 12 hours and I wasn't allowed to eat or
drink
anything. By the time I went in it was too late for me to go home
afterward so
I had to stay overnight - they put me in the maternity ward...
A few years later I met my
husband and told him my history up front, he had
a very hard time dealing with it as he's pro-life. We worked through it
together and got married.
We decided to start having
kids right away even
though I was only 23. After a year of trying I started blaming myself -
I'm
still not over the damage I've done to my life! I have been unable to
conceive
after 6.5 years of marriage and don't believe I ever will.
Thankfully we've
been able to adopt a beautiful baby boy - he's 3 months old now - but it
took 3
years to get him.
Looking back, what a blessing I
could have provided some
other couple with and maybe I would still be able to have kids.
It's a life
long decision, and I'm facing my consequences. I'm so glad I have a
husband who
forgave me as my selfish decision affects his life too!
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Abortion 
