It's such a great feeling to hold somenone's hand, get a big hug, and walk arm-in-arm.
But how do you feel when your date starts pushing to "go all the way"?
Do you feel uneasy, unsure?
Good! Your inner being is telling you to stop.
But, how can a person avoid sex when he/she is being pressured to have intercourse, or "outercourse"?
The first step is to be committed to an Abstinent Lifestyle.
See yourself as a person
who is worthy of having a happy and healthy marriage in the future,
Develop and rely on the character traits of self-respect and respect for others.
Then, make a decision that you will not have sex.
Here are a number of things that may be helpful:
- Be convinced that the negative health consequences of premarital sexual activity are significant, which they are.
- Find a friend who has the same resolve about not having sex before marriage, as you do.
- Write out your decision about how you will handle sexual pressures and refer to it from time to time.
- Develop your self-esteem. Realize that having sex will not build the self-esteem you may be seeking. Becoming sexually involved and then breaking up, as is most often the case with unmarried individuals, actually can damage your self-esteem. Real self-esteem is built by self-discipline and by striving toward and achieving worthwhile goals.
- Practice assertiveness. Some people meekly surrender their independence when someone pressures them, but those who resist the pressure by asserting their commitment are respected.
- Make your values known to the person you are dating from the beginning. Usually someone who is interested only in sex will not pursue the relationship.
- Plan your time together. Don’t just meet and see what happens. Have specific places to go and times to be there. Keep on schedule.
- Avoid alcohol and drugs. Much of the sexual activity that occurs among young people is associated with alcohol and/or drugs.
- Limit the amount of physical contact. One possible approach is to resolve to do nothing you wouldn’t do in your own home in the presence of other people.
- If you have been sexually abused in the past, tell a loved one and seek professional help. Often someone who has been sexually abused is more likely to become sexually involved before marriage. Make sure any emotional damage you have suffered from past experiences is not complicated by bad decisions about your sexuality today. In the past, your virginity was stolen from you; you did not freely give it away. In other words, don't keep having sex now just because you had it in the past!
- , turn around, and free yourself of your past!
[Sexual Health Today, The Medical Institute for Sexual Health]
It’s Never Too Late to Start Saying NO — The word that Eliminates the risk 100% of the time!
No – Nein – Non – Nyet
(Nyet is Russian for NO)
NO is a love word
Go for NO
If you think saying NO is hard, wait till you say "yes"…