Family Breakdown Issues

MYTH: ‘My Future Spouse Will Complete Me’

Loneliness can be one of the most difficult things we as humans can experience. For many singles, the feeling of loneliness can be a motivating factor in finding the perfect spouse.

However, finding the perfect spouse can drive a person to give up a healthy relationship for fear there is a better person out there.

The desire to find the perfect spouse is understandable. When entering a lifelong covenant one must assess the overwhelming joy and the inevitable sacrifices marriage brings. For most people, this is the first life-long decision they have ever made.

In relationships how often do we guard our hearts too closely when the need to surrender to an almighty, trustworthy God is necessary. Strive to learn the motivation of your restless heart. Take the anxieties and worries that plague you to a grace-filled God who provides rest, peace and hope.

Evaluate your expectations. The reality is there is no perfect person on the planet. Marriages require us to be sacrificing, honest, and willing to serve. Your spouse may complement you, but he (or she) will never complete you. That is Christ’s job.

Check out these three components to a successful marriage:

1. Character
Assessing the character of another person allows you to understand if you value the same things. There will always be something to disagree on; however, having similar commitments and a cohesive worldview is important.

2. Chemistry
Chemistry is easily assessed and helps in understanding that two people are attracted to one another. Contrary to what culture teaches us, chemistry isn’t just about physical attraction. There is also emotional attraction. Infatuation stems from genuine chemistry and does not subside over time.

3. Compatibility
When two people are compatible, they are able to work well as a team. The old saying “opposites attract” could not be more accurate in relationships. The challenge is to maximize and encourage each others strengths.

In the end, finding the right person can be made more simple if motivations are in check, expectations are in order and discernment is sought.

Source- Desiring God: Josh Squirels