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Two Stories – How Abortion Can Affect Couples

I recently received a letter from an attorney in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The contents were chilling. The lawyer is representing a 28-year-old man who has been charged with criminal homicide of his fiance’. Here’s what happened.

A young couple met in January of 1999. She lived in the western part of the country, he in Pennsylvania. After dating for about two months, they decided to move in together. She moved to where he was. Not long after that, she discovered that she was pregnant.

They sat down and discussed the situation and, after looking at their options, mutually cane to the conclusion that now was not the time for a baby. On March 30, 1999, the young man accompanied her to the abortion clinic where their baby was aborted.

A month later the grief and shame of taking the life of their unborn baby took its toll. As they talked about their decision to abort and the deep regret they both felt, they came to a drastic decision. They felt thay they had to commit suicide to atone for the sin of aborting their baby. It was also a desperate attempt to be with the baby that they killed.

On May 1, 1999, they wrote a suicide note to their families on their computer, telling them that they loved them and explained the guilt of the abortion as the reason. They young man then went to get his handgun and joined his fiance’ on the living room couch. Together they placed their hands on the gun and pulled the trigger. The gun fired twice and the woman lay dead. The man placed the gun against his head and pulled the trigger, but the gun jammed. He replaced the clip and once again put the gun to his head. However, the gun jammed again.

Desperate not to be separated from his fiance’ and baby, he tried to slit his wrists and throat, but was still unable to succeed at taking his own life. He said that the grief of the abortion was too much for him and the young woman to overcome. They saw death as the only way to end the torment and pain of ending the life of their baby.

The reason the man’s attorney contacted me was to request an expert witness to explain to the jury the startling reality of Post-Abortion Syndrome experienced by men.

Let me tell you about another heartbreaking situation. In May of 1996, Vick [name withheld] and his girlfriend of Minneapolis found out they were expecting a baby. She had an 18-month-old daughter from a previous relationship. Vick was thrilled about becoming a father and he and his girlfriend planned to get married. Unknown to him his girlfriend later changed her mind and had an abortion without consulting him.

Vick was outraged. He went to his girlfriend’s home where an argument ensued. As his anger escalated, he pulled out a gun and said to his girlfriend, “You killed my baby, so I’m going to kill yours.” He then shot and killed the 18-month-old child in front of the mother. He then shot and killed himself, allowing the woman to live so that she could mourn the death of her daughter.

To say these are tragic events is indeed an understatement. Sadly, suicide by women and men in reaction to abortion happens more often than people realize. In many cases abortion is never reported as the reason for the suicide. It may have been kept as a deep, dark secret, or significantly enough in the person’s past not to be considered. Then again, the way abortion has been politicized, the facts may have been deliberately misrepresented.

Don’t let the silence fool you. Abortion is taking a devastating toll on our society. It’s a cancer that wounds, maims and kills those in its path. Abortion doesn’t discriminate. It attacks, not only the baby, but also mothers, fathers, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and relatives.

Imaging the pain and anguish that would drive these otherwise gentle, loving individuals to take such drastic, violent measures. We must say to them, “What you’re feeling is normal for someone who’s participated in abortion. You are not alone. More importantly, there is hope. You can rebuild your life and begin the road to hope and healing.”

[Life Issues Connector, October 2000]

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