Responses - Defending Life / Rebuttals / Advocacy / Dating / Adoption

We Were Just Having "Harmless Fun"

I found out I was pregnant on my 18th birthday. 
Pregnant by a guy I didn't care about and he didn't care about me. 
We were just having "harmless fun". 
 
To make matters worse I found out I had HPV as well! 
 
I had no idea how to tell my parents.  My mom found out when I was too dizzy to walk down the stairs and she asked me straight up and I told her I was pregnant.  She then told my Dad who immediately said "well she's going to have an abortion". 
 
I realized then I wanted to give it up for adoption and thought I could see it through.  My mom supported me in this and we went and met with an agency who told me to come back in a few months and we could start looking at profiles of potential parents.  I really wanted to do it right there and then (I understand why that's not a good idea now though). 
 
I won't even start at how unsupportive the birth father was.  My life was simplified, I would go to work and then come home and sleep.  That was all I really had energy for. 
 
Then one night I decided to go out with a friend to go dancing – no drinking though I had a baby to think about.  I met this guy who seemed nice, we went on a couple of dates and I really started to like him.  He was actually nice to me and treated me with respect! 
 
I realized then that I couldn't keep dating him and have this baby – there was no way he would stick around through it all!  So I called my doctor and asked if it was too late to change my mind – she told me I could get an abortion in two days time.  I can't recall ever getting in to see any other kind of specialist that quickly…

I got to the abortion center with my Mom who was supportive of any decision I made (at 18 when you're pregnant you're not capable of making any decisions in my opinion, just stick to what you know is right). 
 
There were a lot of young girls there who seemed like they had been in before at least once, it felt horrible!  I went in and because of my HPV I couldn't have the regular procedure done – too painful.  So they made me wait in day surgery until there was an available operating room.  This took over 12 hours and I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything.  By the time I went in it was too late for me to go home afterward so I had to stay overnight – they put me in the maternity ward…
 
A few years later I met my husband and told him my history up front, he had a very hard time dealing with it as he's pro-life.  We worked through it together and got married. 
 
We decided to start having kids right away even though I was only 23.  After a year of trying I started blaming myself – I'm still not over the damage I've done to my life!  I have been unable to conceive after 6.5 years of marriage and don't believe I ever will. 
 
Thankfully we've been able to adopt a beautiful baby boy – he's 3 months old now – but it took 3 years to get him. 
 
Looking back, what a blessing I could have provided some other couple with and maybe I would still be able to have kids. 
 
It's a life long decision, and I'm facing my consequences.  I'm so glad I have a husband who forgave me as my selfish decision affects his life too!