Studies - Depression / Suicide / Mental Health

Woman’s Heartbreaking Letter to Father of Baby She Aborted: “I’m So Very Sorry”

Women regret abortion and so do many of the men who love them but sometimes women have abortions without consulting with the child’s father.

This may be because they believe they aren’t ready to be parents, are afraid the father will reject them or because they’re in an abusive relationship.

The point is, regardless of reason, a life is taken without the other person’s knowledge or consent.

In a recent post on Reddit, a user known as silenced0213, apologizes to the father of her baby after choosing abortion.

She writes, “To the father of the baby I aborted, I’m sorry that I didn’t include you in my decision. I should have and I regret it to this day. Telling you crossed my mind. Everyday… it still does. But in my way I thought that’d I’d protect you from the panic, fear, and dread that I felt. See I was scared.”

Then she goes on to explain why she chose abortion without involving her boyfriend. Like many women, she admits that she was afraid that he would either agree with her decision or try to talk her out of it.

She explained, “…I was also scared that you would change my mind. I was scared that you would convince me everything would work out. I was scared that you would offer your support. I was scared that you would take its side. I was scared. I convinced myself that I didn’t need to confide in you, that you had no say. I was convinced that it wouldn’t have worked, that neither of us were cut out to be parents.”

She continued, “I was convinced that you would ditch me if I made the decision to keep it. I was convinced that you would be like my dad and that I would have to do it all on my own. I was convinced that you already had your life and wouldn’t want the added pressure of two more. I was convinced that I was right, and I didn’t need your opinion. And I’m sorry.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you because that life was half of you. I’m sorry that I didn’t confide in you and face my fears. I’m sorry that you didn’t get a chance to say goodbye… or even say hello. I’m sorry that you missed the opportunity to be a father. I’m sorry that you didn’t get a choice.”

Although there isn’t nearly as much research about abortions impact on men compared to that of women, there is substantial evidence that indicates that post-abortive men suffer silently after abortion.

According to the Silent No More Awareness Campaign, a group that works to help post-abortive men and women, men who are opposed to abortion but supported their partners’ decision may have an immediate reaction to the death of their child. They may feel sadness, grief, anger and a sense of not being able to protect.

Additionally, as LifeNews previously reported, abortion is known to damage and even destroy romantic relationships.

Brian Fisher, the President of Online for Life commented on the consequences of abortion for men.

He said, “We are just now considering, though, that we victimize ourselves. Depression, guilt, shame, a loss of self, a loss of honor, and destroyed relationships are common male consequences of abortion.

“In our heart of hearts, we are coming to grips with what we’re doing. We are willfully taking the lives of those we are wired to protect.”

The Reddit user apologizes to the father of her child and concludes, “…I may have deprived you of one of the greatest joys in your life just as I have done to myself. And there are no words to explain how cruel and selfish I was in making that decision without you… there are no words to express an apology with the utmost sincerity. Please forgive me. -M.”

[6 July 2015, ]