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20 Ways for Young Women to Command the Respect They Deserve


Women today are surrounded by attitudes, actions, and materials
that demean, degrade, and disrespect them.
Our society claims to respect women
and yet thinks nothing of pornography, casual sex, and contraception.
It tells women that equality with men means being the same as men and claims that women have a “right” to kill the children within their wombs.
Women’s true dignity and worth
is equal to and not more or less than that of men.
Listed below are 20 practical ways for young (and all) women to insist
on the respect we should receive.

1. Refuse to sleep with a man until you have his wedding ring on your
finger. IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU, he’ll wait.

2. Don’t laugh at dirty jokes, making fun of the
beautiful mystery of our sexuality.

3. Don’t wear degrading T-shirts with
messages like “Who needs a brain when you
have these?” (now discontinued because of
protests). Consider refusing to buy from stores
or manufacturers that make and sell these things.
Women are not objects to be used.

4. Keep your heart and body pure. Think pure.
Be pure to be sure.

5. Dress in a way appropriate to your dignity. As Crystalina Evert,
a fabulous chastity speaker puts it, “Don’t walk around sending
the message that your body is the best part of you—implying that
your heart, mind, and soul aren’t so important. Instead, say with
your modesty, ‘I’m worth waiting to see.’”

6. Don’t EVER let a guy oogle you with his eyes or touch you
inappropriately. Rather than laugh at it, let him know that this
is completely unacceptable.

7. Don’t go to restaurants where the women (or men) servers’ bodies
are put on display to attract customers.

8. DO let a guy hold the door for you or pull out your chair. As long as
he is doing it with the right spirit.  By doing these things, he is showing
you respect; he is NOT saying that you aren’t capable of doing these
things yourself. He is saying that you are worth so much
that he wants to honor you with those actions.

9. Don’t wear clothes (not even prom dresses or
swimsuits) that were made for the purpose of
allowing men who are not your husband to enjoy
the sight of parts of your body made extraspecial
and not to be seen by the whole world.

10. Feel pity every time you see a woman
dressed inappropriately, whether in person or on TV,
etc. Hope that she will recognize her true worth, and
that men will not be led astray by her.

11. Treat each person you meet with respect. Don’t let your
kindness or attention depend on the other person’s (girl’s or
guy’s) popularity or physical attraction. Looks can be deceiving.

real man will rise to meet your standards, but if you stoop and lower
yours to his, you’ll have much to regret. As the saying goes, “It is
better to be single and wish you were in a relationship than to be in a
relationship and wish you were single.” You may be discouraged, but
amazing men do exist. They are having just as hard of a time as
you are at living purely in an impure world. One of them is fighting
the uphill battle for you, so don’t let him down!

13. Treat your body as the precious jewel it is. Don’t make light of it
by degrading your body through drugs, alcohol, or premarital
sex. Be careful not to put yourself in situations where you
might do something you’ll regret. Alcohol makes you vulnerable,
and there are many, many girls who have been raped either by choosing
to drink or even by having something slipped into their drink.
Please, don’t think that it can’t happen to you.

14. Become the woman you were made to be. Work on traits like
gentleness, patience, and courage. “Charm is deceptive, and
beauty fleeting” so work on your inner beauty which will last forever.

15. Refuse to believe the lies. The world will whisper lots
of them in your ear (You need to lose 5 more pounds
before he will consider asking you out. Your parents
don’t understand ANYTHING. You’re just not good enough
to be loved. Sound familiar?).

16. Don’t fall for the HUGE lie the media often
promotes that physical perfection is both possible
and required. (Check out the Evolution Film at to see how much
work it is to appear physically flawless.)

17. Show the world that modesty doesn’t equal
frumpiness. You can dress cute AND be modest. It may take some extra
effort, but don’t let anybody tell you it’s not possible.

18. Be an example to all of the young girls you know—your
sisters, cousins, and neighbors. They deserve better than what the
world is offering, and they’re depending on you to model truth
and real beauty to them.

19. Don’t ever be ashamed of being a woman! Don't act in ways that
makes it appear you are ashamed. Women have unique gifts, and you also
have qualities and talents unique only to you. Develop them. Show
the world you’re proud of the gifts you’ve been given.

20. Most important of all, strive to stand up and command respect.

These 20 suggestions were written by Kristie Wellman,
One More Soul’s Coordinator of Youth and Family Outreach and a young
woman trying to command respect herself. You can contact her at
[email protected]. Her original article has been revised
20 ways for respect.oms.kristi.