I grew up in a church-going family, but not a Christ-centered home. I was a good kid. … I had my days when I was very ornery, and I liked to see how far I could push the limits, but when it came down to the line, “no” meant no, and I listened.
I had only dated very briefly in high school; they were very good innocent experiences. I believe it was because I had a wonderful Sunday School teacher. She talked with us about the blessings of how God intended sex for marriage and the joy of waiting for marriage.
Her words penetrated my heart and I knew it was the right thing to do. Overall I breezed through high school, was accepted into a college and was very excited about my future.
My sexual assault was what has been titled date or acquaintance rape. My freshman year of college I was dating a young man who I had met that previous summer.
We had talked about what we believed in and he knew my convictions about saving sex for my husband. Yet after a few months of dating he became impatient with waiting and forced himself on me against my protest.
After the assault I blamed myself for letting it happen; I felt it was my fault and that I could have somehow avoided it. I did not realize until much later that it was a rape. I was scared of him; therefore, I did not tell anyone what had happened.
Two months later I became sick with the flu, only this flu did not go away.
It was in the bathroom stall of our local mall that I first realized I was pregnant. A fear gripped me like none I had ever known. My head was spinning, my heart was pounding, and I was alone and terrified. Where could I go? Who could I tell? My parents would kill me. How could I explain how it happened? It was already August and I would be returning to college in only a few weeks. I had to find help quickly.
Not knowing where to go for help, I went to the phone book, found the first place that offered pregnancy testing and counseling and made an appointment. I was looking for someone who could give me direction and guidance.
Unfortunately the only option that was offered by the counselor was abortion. Her solution was abortion now or later—later would, according to her, require hospitalization.
I panicked when I heard this. My parents would find out if I waited. I couldn’t face that so I chose what I thought was my only option. Extremely distressed, tears streaming down my face, stifling the sobs that were now coming, I signed the papers.
A young girl in a crisis situation, obviously distressed . . . a box of Kleenex was the extent of the counsel I received. Alone, in a strange place, still in shock from finding out I had conceived, I made a decision that will be with me for the rest of my life.
Prior to my pregnancy I did not agree with abortion, but I never thought I would have to make that decision. I did not want an abortion, but I felt I had no other choice.
Resources to Share With Others
Hard Cases Web Page http://www.theunchoice.com/hardcases.htm
Hard Cases: New Facts, New Answers fact sheet
Pregnancy and After-Abortion Help
Help During Pregnancy www.pregnancycenters.org and…
Help For Those Struggling After Abortion
[www.AfterAbortion.org ; www.TheUnChoice.com]