Last September I found myself in such a seemingly impossible situation.
I was pregnant from a man who was abusive to me. I already had 2 kids with him. How could I leave him and support my children and have another as well?
Leaving him seemed impossible. I was so scared.
I was really, really scared.
So, one morning, I fed my children, brushed their teeth, combed their hair and dressed them as a good mother should. I took them to their Grandma's house and kissed them as I left.
I had a doctor's appointment, not just any doctor's appointment, but an appointment at Planned Parenthood. I was going to have an abortion.
I didn't want to, but who does?
My stomach ached and my moral self was in chaotic battle.
I arrived to the address in my car and circled at least three times before I parked. My arms hugged my torso as I walked with cloudy eyes and shaking legs to the front of the building.
A woman who saw right through me asked me if I wanted help. She gave me a pamphlet that I had no intention of reading. She told me that I had other options.
I know, I thought. I am a horrible person, I thought. I don't want this but I can't…Maybe God will forgive me. I will never forgive myself, I thought.
I walked up the stairs to the PP business and checked in. I didn't look
around the waiting room, but I wanted to. It was very quiet. The women
and couples in there were probably feeling like I was.
A nurse checked me in rather quickly, it seemed.
I was asked to sign a consent form after a few questions were asked. I held that pen in my hand and looked down at the paper. I could not sign it. I could not move my arm. I don't think that I was even breathing. I couldn't move my arm.
I couldn't hurt my baby because of my own fears.
Tears filled my eyes, the most sincere kind. At that moment, all that was in my sight was my baby in my womb.
I walked out of there and back to the street. The lady who had approached me before was still there and she just grabbed me and hugged me. I cried in her arms. She held me like my mother would have. Her name is Terry.
She gave me a card and insisted that I call Life's Choice Clinic (COLFS).
I didn't intend on doing so at the time, but I ended up calling them. They saw me right away even though my insurance did not cover them.
Come to find out…I was caring two babies! They were so supportive!
I was honest with them about my situation. Margie took me in her office and talked to me about my troubles. She and the doctor and the nurses all helped me out soooo much.
I didn't know how. but I knew that I'd be okay.
Margie sent my story out to the universe and I never expected what followed.
People started calling me. I want to help. I want to help. I want to help!
I didn't even know how to respond! I am so thankful!
Jeanette took me under her wing and started a chain of supporters who
have done for me more than I'd ever have imagined. I mean that with
all of my soul.
Everyone who has reached out to me….Thank you.
My children have not gone without. In fact, this last Christmas was the best Christmas of their lives! We had so much fun. They tore into those presents and then we had a feast. It was GREAT!
My twins were born on March 22. They are so beautiful. I love them.
I love them so much. Thank you everybody.
I hope that someday I can talk to a woman who was in my place and maybe
make a difference like all of you.
[Fall of 2007, FPA]