Read more stories of women hurt by abortion at http://www.conceptsoftruth.org/abortionrecovery.htm
My name is Kandi. I was 19 years old when I was faced with an unplanned pregnancy.
As I thought through what was happening in my life I felt scared and alone. At that time in my life I did not feel I had anyone to turn to that I could count on to guide and help me. The father of the baby made it very clear that he did not want this child and I felt so trapped. I could see no other choice but to terminate my pregnancy.
I called an abortion [business] and spoke with them about my situation and they told me that I needed to come in and confirm that I was even pregnant. I went to the abortion [site] where they confirmed my pregnancy. Next I was led to a “Counseling Room” where I was told that it was only a “blob” of tissue and it was not yet a baby. Then the counselor looked at me and said “whose choice is this?” Being that I was all alone at this point I simply said “mine?” Although I felt pressure from the father and my situation, I felt silly responding any other way.
Soon afterward I was led upstairs to the room where my abortion was to take place. They gave me gas and told me to relax. The doctor examined me, looked at the nurse and stated how far along I was. At that point I knew I could go no further. Then I heard a noise that sent chills down my whole body and immediately felt sick at my stomach, I cried out and told them that I could not go through with this. I BEGGED FOR THEM TO STOP! The nurse told me that it was too late and ran to the door and yelled for help because I was fighting her and the doctor, next thing I knew I had three nurses holding me down. All I can remember at that point was moving my head back and forth trying so hard to get loose.
When the procedure was over I was taken to a room filled with beds and women sobbing. I felt so empty and violated. No one ever told me of the anxiety, depression, guilt, or emotional scars that I would bear, nor did they warn me of the miscarriages that I would have due to the damage in my uterus.
I share my story because I don’t want anyone else to suffer the way I have…ABORTION HURTS WOMEN!
Although my abortion was over 17 years ago, every day I live with the consequence of this choice. At age 18 in an abusive relationship, I found myself pregnant. Arriving at the [abortion site], I was told it was a simple procedure and it appeared to be my way out of my crisis. I walked in the center scared, confused, unsure of what else to do; but I walked out that day, empty and broken inside.
For fifteen years I struggled with depression, self-hatred, and anger before I found healing. Looking back, I wish someone would have told me their story and would have shared their pain of having made this choice. I believe it would have made a difference for me. I have found healing and restoration for my life, and now teach post-abortive classes, for those who are suffering from the effects of abortion. My greatest desire is to warn those who are young, not to fall into the same pitfalls I did. There's not a day that goes by, that I don't think about my children whom I have never seen. Make better decisions for your life. It is my hope that your choice never finds you in a crisis pregnancy, however, if you do, choose life; this is an option you will never regret.
In 1991, without any pressure from anyone except for the circumstances of my situation, I chose to have an abortion. I was divorced and already had two young children and felt that I did not want nor could I have another baby. Now, more than 13 years later, I regret that choice.
I had several difficulties following the procedure, which put my life in danger, not to mention the depression that followed later…
My baby would have been born in February of 1992 had I chosen to give it life. I believed I was making the best decision at the time, but now I know my “right to choose” was a lie. I chose a life of wondering whether my baby was a boy or a girl, what would it have looked like and been like, and many more questions I will never know the answer to. I also have the vivid memory of the abortion procedure and the guilt of knowing I never gave my baby a chance at life…
Because of my decision, my doctor agreed to tie my tubes as a form of birth control. I have since remarried, but am unable to have a baby with my husband who has and now never will have any children of his own. My abortion has affected me and others in my life in ways I never thought of, ways no one ever told me about…We can be Silent No More about the real truth of the effects of abortion.
I came to [an abortion business] to have an abortion. I remember the first thing that happened was the payment. Ten twenty dollar bills (counted out one by one on the table) was all that was needed.
Simple enough for a “simple procedure”. It was so quick and easy.
It would have been much more complicated for me to have opened a checking account that day than to have had an abortion. What could be bad about that? My problem was solved and the abortion center had their money. Everybody was happy now and I could go on with my life.
But there was no “simple recovery”. Fifteen years later, I still cannot say I have fully recovered. I wish I could lay down 10 twenty dollar bills on a table today and be rid of the constant shame of having had an abortion. I wish I could lay down 10 twenty dollar bills and have (what I know now was my child!!!) back.
But I cannot. And that leaves me with a lot of anger because I feel like I was not given all the information. Now, looking back, I feel deceived, ignorant, and appallingly lacking in plain common sense. Because abortion advocates provide little education to prepare you for the overwhelming sense of loss you will feel after abortion, the emotional, spiritual, and psychological aftershock came to me totally unexpected.
I did not expect to feel grief! But I did. And because society does not allow women to grieve abortion as a pregnancy loss, I went on with my life in monumental denial. This unresolved grief led to many bad choices including alcoholism, destructive carelessness, and an insatiable
desire to destroy anything good that came into my life. I am sad to look back at the many bad choices I made after the abortion and the relationships that were destroyed. And I am sad that I lived for so many years not even realizing these destructive behaviors were related to my past abortion!
Unfortunately, my speech today will not stop the almost 4,000 abortions that will happen in this country today. However, my speech can begin to chip away at the lack of awareness that fuels the abortion industry. Many people are simply unaware of the traumatic and severely negative reactions women have had to abortion.
But you do not have to suffer in silence anymore. You are not alone in your pain if you have had an abortion. Your story is not unique. It is much more common that you could ever imagine. There is help. Please call 1-866-482-LIFE. Someone is waiting there to get you the help you thought you’d never find.
In 1979 while I was taking an experimental drug for a tumor on my bladder, I became pregnant. My doctor told me I could not have the baby because my life could be in danger and that my baby could be a monster. He said I must have a D & C (dilation and curettage) quickly before the baby’s heart started beating.
I was seven weeks pregnant, 25 years old and a healthy “mother’s health exception” candidate for an abortion, although the doctor never used that word. I was married to my husband, now of 30 years, and had a three-year-old son. I felt pressure to choose between my three year old I could see and the “blob of tissue” that was the unknown.
We were active church members and a Christian family. We called our parents and close family. We prayed and decided to take the doctor’s advice. I honestly thought I had to have this “cleaning out” or I would not be around to raise my three yr. old son.
My doctor sent me to a Planned Parenthood facility in Little Rock. I wonder now why I was sent there if my pregnancy was at risk? I remember the cold table and the almost empty room. The nurse told me it would be over quickly, wouldn’t hurt, and that I could return to work in a couple of days. She was absolutely wrong! I remember hearing the machine and beginning to wonder, “What is happening to me?”
After coming home I felt excruciating pain and immediate mental anguish. I tried to walk and began hemorrhaging. More body parts came out as I went to the bathroom! I cried myself to sleep and the depression began. I couldn’t even say the word abortion and I wanted to punish myself. I repressed the event for over 12 years before I could admit the truth thanks to another woman’s testimony… I continually had many pelvic infections, endometriosis, and had to have a hysterectomy at an early age.
I believe the question that was not answered by the courts in 1973 of “What is it?” must be answered. I have given my daughter personhood and honor in order to grieve her loss and begin to heal. Her size, level of development, environment, and degree of dependency did not justify her death.
Abortion took the life of my daughter. After all, we don’t kill dead things. In 1979 the nurse said, “This will be over quickly,” but that has not been true in my experience. I will have regret for the rest of my life. Abortion hurt me and was a very poor choice.
If you have had an abortion, I want you to know that you are not alone. Research says almost one in two women that are age 45 have had an abortion –or 43%.
Please call the toll free number 1-866-482-LIFE and find help today.
Shame is the ultimate silencer, but the truth will set you free. Be silent no more.
Read more stories of women hurt by abortion at http://www.conceptsoftruth.org/abortionrecovery.htm
National Helpline for Abortion Recovery 1-866-482-LIFE