Men Grieve Too…

Abortion and Men  — The Forgotten Victims of Choice     Adapted from an article by Vincent M. Rue, PhD & Cynthia Tellefsen         Institute for Pregnancy Loss, Portsmouth , New Hampshire         Does Abortion Affect Men?     How abortion affects men remains largely a story unexamined and untold. In modern abortion practice, gender discrimination is rampant; women may choose, fathers may not. By law, fathers are excluded from participating in the abortion.     Men and the Problem Pregnancy     Prior to a woman aborting her child, there are six scenarios of male involvement:           o He doesn’t know she is pregnant and she aborts without his knowledge;           o He knows about the pregnancy but hides his own feelings or beliefs from the woman out of his attempt to “love” her and affirm her rights over her body;           o He pressures her to abort;           o He supports and encourages her decision to abort;           o He opposes the abortion and says so openly; and           o He abandons her physically and emotionally, refusing responsibility for her or any of her choices.     Forgotten Fathers     In the only book on abortion and men, Shostak describes male abortion pain as the loss of fatherhood and a “wound you cannot see or feel, but it exists”. (A. Shostak. Abortion and Men: Lessons, Losses and Love. NY, Praeger, 1984).     According to Shostak, a man gets an incredible message at the first real evidence of his virility, his partner announces she is pregnant, and he is the father and “we are going to have a $US180 pregnancy termination”. In interviewing...