The Marriage Wound: How Abortion Can Impact a Marriage

What happens in a marriage after abortion? Is everything all better after the "problem" of pregnancy was solved? No matter what language you speak, what race or nationally you belong to, how old you are, or what religion you believe in, the answer is the same: No! The answer is "no" because a human life has been taken. The couple's child has died, and as in all cases involving the death of a child, the couple must eventually come to terms with their grief. Abortion grief is very much like any other grief, except that in an abortion situation, a relationship that was "bound together as one," has now been torn in two.   Abortion was a serious wound in my own marriage–one that left a tremendous scar. Before the scarring took place, however, the wound first bled, then it seeped and oozed and bled some more. Infection set in and gangrene soon followed . . . . The wound was ugly and painful, and it got worse before it ever got better. In order for healing to come, the wound had to be opened up and the infection scraped out. This resulted in many fights and arguments between my husband and me. After an abortion, there first comes a stage of denial: "Go through life and pretend it never happened." This is how the mind and body cope with what has taken place, but the human mind can't forget that the abortion happened. It stuffs the information away into the subconscious. But it must always be dealt with later in some other, often very unpleasant, ways. There is...