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Uncovering the Pain Behind Your Child's Anger: Learn how to recognize the reasons for anger, and whether it's appropriate or not

Author Shana Schutte explains the causes of anger in children and how you as a parent can help them deal with their anger in a healthy, character-building way. Anger is a normal human reaction when pain exists. Children should not be told to suppress their anger, but should be encouraged to deal with it in an appropriate manner. "The most important thing to remember while helping your child deal with anger is that he is a person with real emotions – just like you," wrote Schutte.

As an elementary public school teacher, I was appalled when one of my first grade students stood on a chair, threw his arms up and screamed, "I hate you!" followed by numerous expletives describing his feelings about me. Because I'd been a compliant child, I didn't understand why so many of my students were angry and I didn't know what to do.

Perhaps you're at the end of your rope like I was. Not because you're a teacher with angry students, but because the sweet baby you birthed is now an irritated four-to-seven year old who is pitching fits, screaming, yelling and throwing things.

You're not alone.

Parents everywhere are wringing their hands in desperation because one — or more — of their elementary-aged children are out of control with anger.

Many people believe that kids are like little rubber people — trouble bounces off and nothing bothers them long term. However, anger is a sign that children feel deeply and are not as resilient as we might think. Why? Because anger is a response to pain. It's like a blinking light on the dashboard of your car that tells you something is wrong under the hood. For this reason, wise parents will not ignore or minimize their child's anger.

That said, what can you do to help your child manage his anger and develop into a healthy adult …?
Here are some suggestions:
1. To begin, try to pinpoint why your child is angry…
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[posted 1 June 2012, ; ]